How is this His plan?

If one more person tells me that “it’ll happen when God wills it to” or “it’s all part of his plan” I’m going to lose it. How is His plan to break my heart every single month? How is it His plan to put a fire in me to want to be a mom so bad and not grant me that? It doesn’t make any sense. It sucks. Trying to conceive sucks. Watching all the girls around become pregnant while you cry/pray/beg/bargain to be pregnant sucks. Hearing how they weren’t planning, or only had sex once that month sucks. I hate this. I hate that I’m putting myself through this mental mind f*** month after month. I also hate how jealous I am when I hear of a friend’s pregnancy. How is this God’s plan for me?