I feel like I don’t fit in. Like with anyone. And I can’t be myself anymore without anxiety crippling me because last time I was myself my friends ended up hating me. I know I’m not a bad person. I know it was wrong for them to bully me like that. But I also feel like I deserved to get bullied somehow. I love my kids so much and they keep me grounded but I’m feeling so very lost lately. I got into what I thought was going to be a healthy debate but it turned into an attack where no one would hear me out in the slightest. It shouldn’t bother me so much but for some reason it does. It’s stupid. I shouldnt let people affect me. But it’s left me feeling like I can’t disagree with anyone without getting hated on. No matter how nice I am about it.

I’m not even that great of a mom. I mean I know I’m a good mom, but I could be better. I try to be better. It’s so hard tho.

I love my family and they keep my here. But I’m so lonely.

And please don’t tell me I need to go to therapy. I’m already in it.