I pretended I was asleep. ! Trigger warning !

When I first got married I started to notice I'd wake up with my pants half off or something would wake me up but I didn't know what and went back to bed. After a while I finally caught him. I pretended to still be asleep and my husband would take down my pants or pull the blankets back if I was naked and take pictures of my naked body, usually my butt.

Sometimes he would touch me or rub me with his penis. He would take pictures and go into the bathroom.

One night I decided I had enough. In the morning he tried to talk to me (texting me from work) and I wouldn't text him back. He finally asked what's wrong and I told him I know what he has been doing. He denied it. He said I was crazy. He yelled at me and after a while actually convinced me that I WAS crazy, Mabye I was wrong? But how could I be? I was awake. I knew what happened. He said it was a misunderstanding and I was imagining things. He somehow convinced me.

2 years later something else popped up that is too disturbing for me to talk about, my biggest secret. But it brought these things back up and I again confronted him about it. He finally owned up to it, and apologized. He was too embarrassed to tell me why he did it.

Its been a few years of trying to work things out but he shuts down, so I keep so much inside. So many secrets and so much pain. Our relationship is otherwise surprisingly okay.

But I STILL wonder... Did he post this photos online to some creepy sleep fetish group? I've seen that type of thing before and I always wonder is my photo out there somewhere?