Sexually, physically, and mentally abused by boyfriend

I don’t wanna tell anyone in my family and I’m not sure if I should tell or keep it to myself since I’m really stressed and sick about what’s been going on these couple of months.

My boyfriend has been sexually molesting me from March till now and my mom doesn’t know and everyone else think I’m still a virgin.

It’s been making me sick every time he does it and it’s getting worse to the point he’s physically abusing me and hitting on me and threatening me.

I told him I wanted to break up with him but he started to say he’ll kill him self or harm himself making me worried and mentally manipulating and abusing me with it. My mental state isn’t as good so I can be easily manipulated into doing stuff I know is bad and I have disorders that makes it worse.

Yesterday he really did badly first taking advantage of me all day then texting me today he wants to break up and be single for a while.

He did me exactly like a pedophile I used to think love me did.

I don’t know what to do and I feel sick to my stomach cause he took my virginity which I wanted to save until marriage. I just hope I don’t go back to him like I did with that pedophile last year in 2018