My boyfriend and I have been dating for 1/2 a year (though we have been talking for much longer than that) and throughout our entire relationship there’s been a problem with this one girl (we’ll call here Anna, and my boyfriend Steve to protect their identity).
Anna is constantly with Steve and pushing me away. She flirts with him, and if she sees him and I talking, she interrupts me and starts a conversation with Steve and she ignores me.
At first I thought I was being jealous, but then some people started talking to me about it. “Why do you let Anna do that?” “Don’t you think Anna is too touchy with Steve?” And things like that. I haven’t even said anything to them about it to them, they just noticed it.
I brought it up with Steve and he said he would fix it, but nothing was ever done. The situation got worse to where I began to believe he was cheating on me. I talked to Steve more and he said he would set up boundaries with her if that would make me more comfortable. So he did, and things immediately changed for the better.
A couple weeks later, I was on Steve’s phone when I got a message from Anna saying how she slept in and it felt great, blah blah blah. So I went into his messages with Anna to tell her that I had his phone and he would text her later. Then I saw the last message he had sent her. That morning, at 6:30am he had said “You know what, f*** the boundaries we made.” I was very upset about this and when I confronted him about it he said I was overreacting and that he only said that so her and him would still be friends.
A week later I received a text from my friend saying “Did you know Anna is at Steve’s house?” And sure enough, she was. I asked Steve and he said that she needed a place to be for a couple hours. I was really upset as I had not seen him for a couple weeks, and she had just seen him a couple days ago. He said that they just wanted to hang out because she is moving soon and he won’t be able to see her anymore.
Yesterday. Steve told me he was going to a multi-day music festival so he was camping there for a week. I learned later that day that Anna was “coincidentally” going to the same thing. No, it wasn’t a coincidence. So now they are at a music festival together, and they will be for the rest of the week.
There have been other incidences too, but these are the ones that concern me the most.
Is he cheating?? I don’t know what to do because we have had this situation many times before and nothing is getting better, it only gets worse! What do I do?? Please help!