Sad/disappointed :/

Antonia
So I'm currently 20 weeks along due in February. I'm only 18, my boyfriend is 21. We've been dating for 2 years and he has a son from a previous relationship who is now almost 2 1/2 years old which I'm totally cool with and I love this little dude a lot. 
So ever since I got pregnant my bf has been changing the mood a lot. He goes from being the sweetest person on earth giving me back rubs and massages and rubbing my bump talking to our baby to being very moody the next day quickly. Which is okay I know he's in a lot of stress because he's moving to a different apartment right now and has just begun his new job 2 months ago still getting used to everything so I get he is stressed out sometimes and it's okay. We have been split up for 2 weeks at one point and are now taking things easy and slow. I'm not moving in with him anymore and we don't see each other as much anymore but talk and text every day. He often asks how I feel and if there's anything new about the baby (like when I started feeling movement or if I started showing more and asks for bump pics if we haven't seen each other for a while) but he does not care at all about the baby purchases I make. I told him the other day that I was on my way to a baby store to go buy the stroller I've laid my eyes on hoping he'd ask me which one it is or anything like that. He just simply said "okay". Didn't bother asking if I got what I wanted or what I got in particular. He doesn't seem to care at all. Same goes with any other purchases. I'm all alone in this whole baby shopping thing. I'm not demanding money since I know he's got a lot on his plate with the renovations and rent for his new apartment right now but I wish he'd care more to at least get a little something for our son. I would be so happy if he would just get a onesie or a sleeper he likes, just something that  HE picked, that HE wants his son to have. I always inform him when I plan to buy something hoping he'd get interested in it but he can't be bothered at all I feel and it makes me kinda sad because I feel like I care a lot more about our sons things than he does. I want him to have nice clothes, a good stroller that will last us for a while, a nice looking safe car seat, a cute crib and bedding and in general all things nice and just want to make sure he has everything that could be needed. 
I feel kinda left alone in this whole thing when it comes to buying things and deciding about what items to get as he doesn't bother to ask me any questions at all about those things.. What he does care about is his sons name but that's pretty much the only thing that I'm not left alone in to decide about. 
Any advice? Or is this normal that men just don't really care about what kinda stroller their baby is in and what kinda crib and bassinet he will sleep in? Don't wanna sound stupid as my pregnancy hormones probably make me all the more emotional and sad and frustrated about things 
261 views • 0 upvotes • 6 comments

COMMENT (6)

Au

Posted at
Uhm honey you may not like to hear this but yeah it's normal for guys not to care about those details. At least he asks about the baby and that should be what's most important. Men can't really read between the lines so if it bothers you THAT much, talk to him about it. Let him know how you feel. Consider how he feels as well. I feel annoyed/sad/disappointed/let down at my husband sometimes over things he doesn't say/do but we have to remember, guys are not mind readers. They're not multitaskers like us women. They can only think about few things at a time. From the sound of your post, it seems he has enough on his mind as it is. Don't worry, you'll be okay and everything will work out. :)

St

Posted at
Guys really aren't into baby details. My hubby and I planned very much for this baby, and he will ask about baby, but he has no interest in what I want for the baby...he trusts me to get what the baby needs so he just doesn't care what stroller, etc. I want to buy.

Je

Posted at
I agree with Vickie, maybe you should just not speak on the things you are buying right now. He will come around, if not before the baby gets here, then definitely when the baby arrives. My SO doesn't wish to know the sex of the baby until birth, so he hasn't spoken on buying anything other then the babies car seat and furniture. Everyone is different and if he is stressed about other things he may just feel overwhelmed and not want to talk about it. Don't think to much into it, talk to someone else you feel comfortable with. My hormones are all over the place too so I write everything down in a diary because it comes off differently when said aloud

Vi

Posted at
I wouldn't say he doesn't care, most men feel inferior when they can't do for their own. It messes with them. If he really hasn't had money to help out, try to put yourself in his shoes. If he is feeling inferior his pride is hurt so it is easier not to go into details on what you are buying.

An

Antonia • Sep 29, 2015
Something I just wish he would maybe get a little something at least that he chose for our baby, something that really stuck out to him and that he could imagine our son wearing it or playing with it or whatever item it may be

An

Antonia • Sep 29, 2015
It's not that he doesn't have money to buy anything for our baby. He has quite a good amount left after paying all of his expenses that he can use on whatever he wants. I just don't ask him for money for the baby. I rather pay with my own money as long as he doesn't offer to help pay for