I found out just this past week that I am 4 weeks pregnant. I was excited, bought baby socks to surprise my parents with the news, planned on getting myself a pregnancy pillow, started setting up appointments, and most of all dreaming about our little baby. This is my first pregnancy and I felt so beyond blessed that something this special could ever happen to me.

A few days after I got my blood test back as positive, I began to have light pink spotting. Of course, like anyone going through pregnancy, I googled every possible thing it could be and brushed it off as irritation from intercourse. However, today when I woke up it looked like I had started my period. I called off work and went to the ER. All my tests were looking normal, and the doctor did a pelvic exam and found that my cervix is still closed. He said there didn’t seem to be any concern as I was not gushing blood too. A few hours passed and I was taken back for a transvaginal ultrasound. My hormone levels were low. They were as low as they could be to be considered pregnant. My doctor finally came in and told me that I am possibly having a miscarriage, but he’s not sure if my levels have dropped or if my pregnancy is just very early. I’m young, all of this is new to me, I’m scared, and I feel sick because I don’t know what to expect tomorrow when I get my levels tested again. I’m prepared to be strong regardless what happens and I’m so thankful that my family has been so supportive of me today. Most of all I am blessed to have such an amazing partner that is going to be there for me regardless what news we get. I never understood until today what this could possibly feel like emotionally and physically.