Car Crash and Find Out I’m Pregnant.

I need help guys. My boyfriend and I were arguing a 5 days ago, long story short, he was swerving the car purposely. His intention was to scare me yet resulted in a huge crash. The car flipped and into a ditch and blew up right after he helped me out. I thank god every single day for this blessing. Neither of us have any broken bones... I love him dearly, however, if he cared about my safety he would never ever go 80mph on a 25mph area and “tried” to scare me, which scared me for sure. I’m traumatized, depressed, and dealing with anxiety. I start shaking sitting in any car and run out because I’m so scared. I’m broken into pieces. I have been ignoring him for those entire days. I’m only 19 years old, I lost the car I have been earninng for so long. I lost everything. I stopped going to college because he didn’t have a car, so I worked mornings and he worked night, which caused me to have no ride to school. I did everything, I put my future on pause for this person. And he took it all away from me, over a petty argument. Can you imagine everything going on in my head? I’m emotionally unstable in every way. I hate my life. He finally gave up on spamming me last night, followed two females on instagram. He claims one is his cousin and one is his long lost half sister. He had told me previously that he had a half sister, but didn’t tell me who she was because he had no idea either. Me, being the overthinker, I had messaged them and the “half sister” didn’t reply, but the “cousin” did and she claimed they used to talk to each other, as in relationship wise but never got to a relationship. They are long lost cousins she claimed. I’m furious, crying, already depressed and this just adds onto my stress. I hate him for taking everything away from me, yet I am still so broken. Why would he lie? He has never been like this. This is my happiest relationship. He was always my happiness, up until he put both our lives in danger. He bought me food everyday, surprised me multiple times with many gifts, I never cared of any price, but I saw the effort. I saw his love for me. He once never cared for anybody, I am his first relationship. Don’t bash me for talking like this, if you didn’t actually experienced the love and feelings. I never once opened up until then. Although he didn’t speak to those girls, why run to an old bitch? Why do you have to feel whole again from the past... When i’m right here. When i did everything, only to lose everything. My mind is all over the place, I just found this out an hour ago. And now, I took a test, this is the very first time I’ve been pregnant. I’m scared, I love God. I am so blessed that he gave me another chance in life. Everything comes with a reason. And now I’m pregnant. Is this another blessing? Did he allow me to have another life to give my all into this child? But I’m too young... I’m too young for a kid. I have lost my trust for this man. I love him. I really do, but I will never allow myself to be with someone that does not see my worth. But I can’t kill it. I cant let myself. But I need to. I need help. It is my life, and my decisions, but I need tips. I need a lot. I was almost close to taking my life two days ago due to so much depression. Please, help me. What do I do about my child? Abort it?!?!?! Keep it?!?!? I don’t know.