How big of an issue is favoritism ?

Question

I have a son just turned 8. And my husbands daughter is 9.   We have been together since my son was 2 and she was 3. So along time. I have noticed that over the last probably 3 years my husband has been treating them differently. He seems to yell at my son constantly for nothing really and never yells at his daughter.  He loves on his daughter a lot and never shows my son attention at all. He calls my son annoying all the time. But has never said that to her. His daughter is more mature than my son. And my son is just hyper and likes to be doing stuff all the time. But he’s not bad, he’s very polite. My husband always says stuff like he needs to be more like his daughter. And says my son is horrible all the time. (Not true). And my son over hears him and cries. My son use to call him dad but recently has stopped and calls him by his name now. My son has also mentioned that he thinks his step dad doesn’t like him. It breaks my heart. I have talked to my husband about it before and he tells me I’m insane and that he loves my son and that I’m over reacting. If my son cries after getting hurt or in trouble my husband mocks him and calls him a baby. Again doesn’t do this to her. 
What should I do ?

Answer

Tell your husband that he needs to stop calling your son names, comparing them, telling him to be someone else, and in general showing favoritism or your marriage is going to have some issues asap
I couldn't sit there while some guy treated my child like a lesser than. That's not okay. If it didn't change, I'd be out of there. A child doesn't need to feel like a lesser than in his own home.

Answer

Damn how could you marry someone who doesnt like your son? You need to stop putting dick over your own child 😒 tired of seeing all these news stories about chicks choosing dudes over their own blood.

Answer

Lol I went through this when I was young, I was the exact same age and lemme tell you my moms husbands mom treated me like shit too. I developed severe anxiety and a low self esteem. My stepdad and I get along now but when you rate young you don’t “understand why people are mean to you” you can just feel it. You’re going to fuck up your son and all because you want to be a “wife” instead of a “mother” you know what’s right. I just feel bad for your kid because I don’t think you’ll ever have the balls to leave this man or so it seems, you are probably dependent on him. You are perpetuating some type of emotional abuse on YOUR CHILD and I pray you get your act right and start thinking about your son and not yourself. Good luck!

Answer

I may be a bit on the extreme side, but I would set up nanny cams around the house with audio. Have actual proof, then when/if your husband does it again, you can confront him with audio/video proof. If he tries denying that, then get your son the hell out of there. He does not need to be subjected to that.

Answer

That's not favoritism, it's abuse..plain and simple. You have already talked to him and by his response he does not care. That makes it worse.
If it was me in the situation, I would be getting my child and myself out of there ASAP and filing for divorce. I would also get my child into some good counseling ASAP to help get them through this.
I'm so sorry you are going through this. Hope it goes well and gets better.

Answer

That’s not right it’s not fair for ur son if it carries on it may affect him in a bad way he probably looks up to ur husband,  I personally wouldn’t let a step parent favour one over the other don’t put up wit it it can affect him emotionally and damage ur son talk to ur husband if he’s not willing to change you need to put ur son first. It’s up to you thou cause ur his mother.

Answer

Oh no no girl if you don't be a mother to that child he will resent you when he gets older for letting that happen to him you are his mother your husband is his step dad he doesn't love him like you do you have to accept that.. And the way he treats him is wrong and you letting him do it by not doing shit about it but asking us what to do? You already know what you need to do.... Tell him straight up that you will not tolerate that and if he doesn't believe you well get out... I would not ever be with a man who treated my babies like shit

Answer

He is abusing ur son.. Plain and simple.. it's not about how he is treating his daughter and ur son.. it's about looking at ur son and knowing he isn't in the right environment.. ur son is changing and going through hell.. while u stay and watch.. ur just as bad as ur husband.

Answer

I would leave and find a home my child is valued

Answer

You need to nip this in the butt asap. I've been in this situation as a child except I was the one being treated differently by my step mom. Her daughters were treated special and I was scolded for everything. My dad never took my side and stayed married to her to this day. It destroyed my self confidence and I began to rebell. One thing about children is if they don't feel loved at home, they will try to find it in the wrong places. Little boys need their fathers love, attention, and to teach them how to be men. Also you need to explain to your husband that boys and girls are not the same, we are different hormones and such. My son is always having to be doing something too, and he's super sweet, and my daughter is more nature and laid back. You can't compare them at all.

How big of an issue is favoritism ?

The Top Baby Tracker App: Embrace New Beginnings with Tender Care

The Top Fertility Tracker App: Your Path to Achieving Pregnancy

The Top Pregnancy App: Nurturing Your Journey to Motherhood

The Top Period Tracker for Empowering Your Menstrual Health Journey