I’ve never wanted kids

I’m 28 and do not want kids at all, this effected my previous relationships a lot and ultimately ended them. I seem to get to a point in the relationship where I think I’m stopping this man from being a father and that’s what he wants so I can’t do this to him and I leave.

I’ve been with a guy now for 3 years and he has a son and says he has no need for more cause he has his son and he has me and that’s all he wants, but my default action is to push away and leave I’m trying so hard but I just feel like He deserves more. I love this guy so much I really do but I just don’t know what to think anymore.

I know that if I push away and leave that this will be an ongoing cycle and I’ll be alone. But at least if I’m alone then I won’t be forcing someone else to not have children.