So my boyfriend and I have been having some problems. About two months ago, I found a picture of his coworker in a bra and underwear (looked like a screenshot from her Snapchat story). He said he sent it to his friend and he blocked her and deleted the picture. We’ve been together for more than 8 years and he has never done anything like this. We talked and worked things out.

Well yesterday I had 2 dreams that he was cheating on me and it had me a little worried that maybe it was a sign. So last night he spent the night and I woke up before him and I went through his phone. I thought I hadn’t found anything, but then I saw he recently downloaded Google Drive...

I thought it was odd since he never uses his Gmail so I clicked on it and I found videos sent to him of a girl masturbating. It was the same girl and I found it so weird that the video was shared to him on Google Drive. Is that just porn or is that someone he knows. I went through the rest of his phone to see if he paid for the video, where did he sign up to get it, etc.

So I go to his Facebook and he searched the girl up! I think he found her and the weird thing is that (if that’s her) she’s from Chicago and he used to live there. So is this someone he knows? I feel so shitty and I can’t tell him because he’ll get upset that I went through his phone. If it’s just porn, I don’t care. But if he’s paying a lot of money for it (we’re having money issues) or it’s someone he knows, then I’m pissed. Is anyone good at trying to find out who this could be?

***Update:

I didn’t confront him about this, but I did talk to him. I went through his phone again and tried to see if he had any friends in common with that girl, I looked at his messenger (and private chats), I went through his inbox, sent, and trash folder, I went through his messages and I didn’t find anything of him talking to this girl.

When I looked her up, I think she’s an old porn star who sends stuff of you pay for it. So once I found this out, I decided to talk to him. I told him that I didn’t care if he watched porn because I did too, but that out of respect of this relationship, I asked him if he could not pay for porn, not save anything on his phone or iCloud or emails or in his gallery, etc. I went on to say other things regarding sex and porn and I was scared of the way he was going to react because I thought he was going to say that it’s his money and his phone, and so forth but...

He didn’t. He told me to come closer to him and he held me and told me that he would stop downloading and paying for stuff. We had a great night, but with my trust issues, I wanted to be sure that he wasn’t playing me. I see it happen a lot and I wanted to see if he was being faithful to me and respecting me enough. So I looked through his phone one last time after our conversation and he listened. He deleted the videos she sent him permanently, all his porn photos in his gallery where gone, and he turned off an ad blocker he had for porn. I feel bad for not trusting him and for being that girl who goes through his phone, but I’ve been cheated on in the past and with problems going on in my life right now, I was nervous that he was going to look for sex somewhere else. Honestly, I need to learn to trust him and be happy in my relationship. & thank you to everyone who was looking out for me!