I’m so happy to be pregnant. To be creating a little human that’s half me, and half her daddy. I’m so in awe at the miracle of it all.

But quite frankly, I suck at doing pregnancy the “right way”.

I don’t cook. I don’t clean. I hardly eat as I should because I’m not cooking. Everyday is a mystery of what to eat. Due to sickness I’m not to start my day without eating anything. It’s literally the first thing I have to do when my eyes open. But I haven’t grocery shopped for weeks. & everything I eat or drink leaves a horrible taste in my mouth. So I’ll literally lie in bed for two hours trying to figure out how to start the day, and wind up sick which I feel like is my fault anyways. That lands me in the bed basically for the rest of the day.

My home is such an overwhelming mess. I feel so bad for my boyfriend. He’s not much of a cleaner, and most of the mess is mine so he’s not sure what to do with anything.

I have terrible headaches, dizziness, nausea, occasional vomiting, terrible hip pain, back pain, pinching in my uterus. I feel like if I could just get off my ass and eat how I should, and take my vitamins as I should, I may feel a little better.

But where and how do I start? I’m starting to think I may be a little depressed. I’m not complaining about being pregnant in any way. I’m upset with myself because I’m not doing my body & baby as I should be.

I teach and school starts back in a couple of weeks so I need to be getting my classroom ready. I can’t in this condition. & it’s giving me so much anxiety. I feel trapped in a vicious cycle that I feel is all my fault.

As soon as my boyfriend gets home from work I’m going to talk to him as well, but I just needed to let it out right now. 😥