I feel like such a bad person😖💔

My boyfriend and I have been trying for 4 years now with no luck.... I recently found out someone in the family is pregnant... (won’t say who but it’s in the family) I’m happy for her and her little family. But I’m so jealous... it took her only 1-2 months of trying and now she is pregnant. I don’t let it affect how I act towards her or anything it’s just I’m jealous... I’m jealous of all these new mommies I’m so happy for y’all and her I really truly am any baby from anywhere is a blessing from god. I just am so jealous... when will I have that time to have butterflies when I hear the small heartbeat... or the excitement from the first of very many kicks... even the up all nights ,morning sickness, and the pain that comes with it... I always get told be patient it will happen when the time is right.... I trust that god has a plan for me.... but I wish so much that it would involve a precious little baby in it. I’m scared I may never be able to have kids I was diagnosed with pcos during our first year trying... but was never told if I was completely infertile or if I would even have a chance at getting pregnant and I feel like I have tried everything..... I just feel like a bad person to say I’m jealous of something so special to someone.... I’m just jealous of the fact it hasn’t happened for me yet, or that it ever will happen for me.....💔💔💔