Your absent father all of a sudden wants to be a grandfather to your almost 2 year old child
I’d like your thoughts but please read the whole thing first. To understand the situation I need to tell the backstory which may be long. He was never there for me as a child. She had court ordered visitation but didn’t always show to pick me up. Between the ages of four and eight there were times he wouldn’t show and I would fall asleep crying waiting at the door for him. When he would show there would be different women all the time or strange man around or he would leave me with strangers one of which molested me as a child. He was on drugs and drink all the time and his house was never clean. My mom got remarried when I was 4 to my step dad who raised me since I was 2 and I actually had my last name changed to my step dads when I was 12. Finally the courts listened to my opinion and I didn’t have to go anymore it was my choice. I didn’t see him or talk to him for 7 years. I wrote a letter expressing my hurt to him and we began talking for a few weeks untik I found out he was using again. We stop talking and then begin trying to resume a relationship when I was 18 and 19. It remained on and off for years. He since had four more children. Two of which lived with the mother until they were put into foster care and within the past 3 years he got custody of them and had passed drug tests. When I was pregnant with my daughter we tried for a relationship and him and his girlfriend even hosted my baby shower. But I found out while I was there that he was polling my friends about my daughter paternity and their opinions on my husband. Him and my husband do not get along. The baby shower ended up being filled with a lot of drama and it was just for lack of a better word kind of trashy embarrassing. He did come to the hospital when I was giving birth I told him to come by himself and to not bring the kids because that’s a lot of people to have in the hospital room and what do you know... i’m in labor and he walks in with his girlfriend and all four kids. He left after my daughter was born because it was late and he didn’t see her because I wanted the first hour to myself and my husband. He had given me a car because I did not have one before but the car was extremely unsafe and on reliable and broke down to 4 times 1 of the times Was when we just brought my daughter home from the hospital and we were stuck on top of the mountain in the winter and he refused to come and get us even though his job is to drive it till truck. My husband and him got into an argument about it I made threats to my husband. We haven’t talked much since and he has not seen my daughter in almost 2 years that she’s been alive. Then he calls me about six months ago really upset because he found out that my two siblings that were in foster care or molested during that time and my little brother has since started molesting my other siblings in the home which stirred up a lot of emotions for me due to my past. A couple days ago he called me apologizing for not being there and telling me he wants to be a part of my life and my daughters and even if I don’t want to see him he has a “RIGHT” to see my daughter. I told him like I have multiple times that he can come to my house where I feel safe and comfortable and where my daughter is safe and comfortable I will not have her meet him for the first time at a restaurant where she stuck in a high chair. He told me he doesn’t want to come here because he doesn’t want to see my husband but I responded telling him that he’s not here to see my husband he would be here to see me and his grandchild. He then proceeded to tell me that he has more of a right to see her than my husband and my child has a right to know her grandfather just like my two little half siblings grandparents took him to court to get grandparents right visititation. That did not sit well with me and I didn’t trust it or him so I ended up changing my number and cutting him off. The situation is still giving me anxiety and I’m worried he’s going to try to serve me with some kind of papers trying to get visits with my daughter. Where I live that is something a grandparent can do if they meet certain criteria which he does not meet. She doesn’t know him he doesn’t ask how she’s doing or send holiday cards or anything. We don’t live far from eachother but there is an hour drive and a state line between us. What are your thoughts? Would you have reacted the same way?
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