Please help me!! Read this all!!

So I have not talked to anyone about this but I’m gonna act like this app is a therapist and I’m gonna lay it all out so please read but get comfortable.

Ok so I’m 13 and recently I’ve felt really depressed. I am adopted at one day old never knew my birth parents because they were very young. It haunts me every day that they don’t want to see me. I cry myself to sleep a lot and don’t know what to do with my life.

I love my family, don’t get me wrong they are absolutely amazing but I just feel so unwanted all the time.

I feel misunderstood especially with my dad because even though I love him sooo much he makes me more upset with myself. He doesn’t listen to my opinions that matter most to me (Luke climate change for example), and he argues with almost anything I say. He makes me feel horrible and that I should just keep even more quiet. He loves my mom and they are literally soul mates but he yells if he gets mad a lot and never explains stuff to either of us and treats her like a maid sometimes. Now I know this sounds like a bad family but it’s not trust me it’s the best it’s just those things that make me hate myself.

He will get upset that I don’t do things fast enough, I don’t do them right and I cry extra hard those nights because I makes me feel worthless and that I will never be good enough for him.

I have cut myself multiple times to release the pain but nothing works. I don’t know if I’m suicidal but I do hate myself a lot.

Another problem I have is I don’t eat...at school every day I never eat, I say I eat in the morning but I’ll have a water cup, at dinner I give most of it to the dog and I hate the way I look still.

My parents still don’t have a clue that I feel this way about anything because I act like such a happy person so people won’t notice. Please help because I’m literally crying right now and I’m just a wreck. I really need help and don’t know how to say anything.

Oh and by the way I’m bisexual and don’t know how to say it. (Which doesn’t make me like myself anymore.)