Getting sterilized in the Bible Belt.

When I was younger I was very shy and introverted and anxious. This translated into adulthood as a general dislike of talking to people. I don't mind others, being in large crowds, being in loud places, going places I've never been; I actually love those things. I just don't like talking if I don't have to and further I don't often know how to respond when someone talks to me. I've learned to love myself the way I am and I've been able to make some strong connections to other quiet people in my life. 
Before this gets too long, basically, I don't want children. When I was 20 I finally realized that it's a choice. I don't have to have children just because it's expected of me. I suppose, growing up in the Bible Belt, where families are heavily valued and often seen as "a married couple after they have babies", I just assumed that if I ever wanted love I would have to have babies even though I was never particularly interested in children and actually rather disliked them. It was just something "people do". It never made sense. If I don't want them, know for a fact I will resent them for disrupting and changing my life in ways I don't want it to, why should I do it? My reasons are numerous and counting, and as the years pass I am more and more certain of my decision and know it will not change. I know myself. I know I don't want children. I don't see the point in putting off the inevitable and want to pursue surgery. 
However, because I am still young I get the impression from family and friends that I will not be taken seriously if I go asking for surgery. Does anyone have advice about how to go about getting it done? How do I get someone to take me seriously? 
410 views • 1 upvote • 23 comments

COMMENT (23)

🙈

Posted at
Nothing wrong with not eating kids, but you won't find a doctor to tie your tubes, or anything more. Your best bet is to look for one who will do an iud, but even that's hard to find. Jist be super careful and use birth control and condoms until you're older.

Je

Jesse • Oct 1, 2015
same here!! sometimes typos are just what you need in your day. thanks for the smile, I needed it. :)

🙈

🙈🙉🙊 • Oct 1, 2015
BAHAHA!!! DON'T EVER EAT THE KIDDIES!! Totally meant "wanting" totally screwed that up lol.

Re

Renee • Oct 1, 2015
Of course there is nothing wrong with not EATING kids! Lmao sorry this just made me laugh so much!

•K

Posted at
There is nothing wrong with not wanting to have kids. However, it is extremely unlikely that you will find a doctor who is willing to perform an elective sterilization procedure on a young woman who has never had kids. Personally, I think it's ridiculous that women are usually denied elective sterilization.

Ro

Posted at
My GYNs office will do a "sterilization" that consists of putting a coil in your tubes. It's as effective as a regular sterilazation, I think, but it's somewhat reversible. It also has less recovery time because they don't have to make an incision, they can go up through your uterus for it.I've had a paraguard IUD, which is also long lasting, effective, and hormone free.

Su

Summer • Oct 1, 2015
If you're referring to Essure coils in your fallopian tubes, as long as it's succesful, it is not reversible at all. It basically scars your tubes shut. Just FYI.

Me

Melissa • Oct 1, 2015
I have heard terrible things about the coils.

Al

Posted at
If you're serious no one should matter.

Al

Alpha×Stephanie🌒 • Oct 1, 2015
Ya. that part will be rough. Wish you the best.

Zo

Zoey Rei • Oct 1, 2015
I'm not worried about gaining support from family or friends. I'll do what's best for me in the end. What I'm worried about is getting juggled around by doctors who don't want to take my request seriously.

😺

Posted at
I doubt you'll find a dr who will sterilize you at this age. I personally find it ridiculous, but that's how it is. I went with an IUD because I was horrible about remembering to take the pill on time and even though I married young I knew I didn't want kids that young. I had mine for 8 years and never had a problem with it. If you don't want kids you don't want them. Yes, there's always a chance you might change your mind, but there's an equal chance that you won't. I don't think you need to feel guilt or put down about that, it's your decision, no one else's.

Me

Posted at
I would recommend a long acting reversible contraception like the iud (5-10 years) or the implanon ( 3 years.)  this would be a good option for a few reasons:1. Once it's in, you don't have to think about it at all and you won't have any accidents for a long time.2. You can tell people it's for birth control reasons and won't have to explain yourself further or at all. They won't be able to tell. 3. You can change your mind. I'm not saying you will or should. But you are young and you just never know how  you will feel in 10 years time. I think it's better to keep the option open even if there's a 0.5% chance you will chance your mind. Hope that helps! Not wanting to have kids is 100% your decision.   

Me

Posted at
Schedule an appointment with a doctor and tell them you want to explore permanent birth control options. If the first doctor isn't helpful find another. 

He

Posted at
Honestly. Most doctors won't do it. The paraguard IUD is good for 10(12?) years and is as effective as sterilization. Good luck, not every woman is meant to have kids, but it's really hard to get sterilized so young with no kids, unfortunately :/ 

He

Helen🐠 • Oct 1, 2015
I can't even do it at 23 with 2 kids. No doctor will do it because I'm so young and I might change my mind, they say. I'm going with paragard because it's hormone free. And after 10 years I can get another one, then I'll probably be close o menopause anyways.

Ma

Posted at
Honestly? Just get on birthcontrol. You can look for doctors to do it, but I doubt they will. Although, if you keep pushing I don't think they can deny it to you because it's your choice. 

Ma

Marissa • Oct 1, 2015
All you can do (if a doctor wont help) is use birthcontrol, condoms, and pull out. Otherwise, don't have sex. I'm sure if you search, there will be a doctor willing to help.

Zo

Zoey Rei • Oct 1, 2015
*if my birth controls fails I would have to resort to an abortion.* (clarification)

Zo

Zoey Rei • Oct 1, 2015
I've been on birth control since I was 14 and have been on various types. I just hate having to deal with it and the side effects and want to stop delaying what I feel is inevitable. I also don't want to be stigmatized against because of my birth control fails I had to resort to an abortion.

Je

Posted at
I honestly don't think they will do it I was 20 and had 2 kids they didn't want to tie my tubes. I'd get the iud or implant