Sex Education *Rough content/Triggers*

So, piggybacking off of a post I just saw.

Sex education... How do you all feel about the topic? I'm going to let loose on a bit of a rant here, but I am genuinely curious to see where a lot of you lie on the matter and how you have/plan to raise your girls in regards to the matter.

So, here we go... Rant warning issued...

Virginity in most definitions is a manufactured idea created by men in my opinion. It varies in definition by state, country, religious organizations and has changed throughout time based on what is found socially acceptable at the time.

Those definitions (again, in my opinion) aide in the anxiety we feel over losing our virginity, and can be so hurtful to our psyches.

I believe that you know when you are ready for sex, and unfortunately we are so uncomfortable talking about sex with our girls that they just don't know what ready means.

They end up learning it from boys that barley know what they're doing, and pressuring them into sex before they're ready.

Sex is a topic that needs to be discussed. I do feel it's different for everyone. Some are ready sooner than others, and at that everyone views sex differently.

But I feel we as a gender we really need to get our shit together.

We need to let girls know what their anatomy is, that it's okay to tell a man no if you don't feel ready or to say slow down because something doesn't feel right, that there are all sorts of benefits as well as repercussions to the act.

They need to be educated. Period.

How are we expecting these girls to make educated decisions off of 'you could get pregnant, maybe get an STI, so don't do it'?

I think this leads to girls not having the confidence to say 'you know what, I'm not ready for this and I'm comfortable in my decision to say no'.

Not to mention that (I assume) most of us grew up being told that if you have sex you will get pregnant, and that has hurt a lot of us who that hasn't proven true for.

That's true for me. I was told sex leads to pregnancy quickly, and lo and behold, 5+ years of unprotected sex later and my S.O. and I have not had any luck. I allowed that idea I was raised with to brand me as a failure as a woman. How many of us have let ourselves feel like failures over this?

The answer is too fu*king many.

I feel like I was let down by my sex education.

I got the in school week long class that skirted around every topic. I got the 'birds and bees' talk. But when it came down to my first encounter with a boy, I was so scared and stunned and I felt that I couldn't say no. I didn't know enough about my anatomy to be able to say what hurt and that I didn't feel ready and I can't help but wonder how many women felt the same way over their first sexual experience.

I really think that this app is a great place for women to come together and joke about sex, share and encourage each other about our bodies, and really talk about the heavy stuff when it comes to TTC, but how long did it take all of you to find a community you could bring your questions to and for the most part, get honest non-judgmental answers?

Our girls won't have that.

How long did it take all of you to learn about your bodies?

I only knew what I had been told by the few partners I had. I didnt know where my clitoris was or how to masturbate until I was 21 because I had been shamed by my boyfriend for even touching myself.

And again, that's all because I didn't know it's okay to tell someone no. I didn't know that it's my body and it's my rules. And my lack of education led to me being sexually abused by a middle aged man in my teens.

I was scared to come forward because in my mind I would be seen as a slut, and that I would lose my job, that everyone would look at me differently.

I didn't know that when I told my boyfriend at the time and he said 'you were probably asking for it' that I really wasn't and that type of comment is not okay.

And to later go on and be raped by my ex husband because I didn't know you could be raped by someone you were married to.

I want people to know that the lack of education they provide to their daughters can do a lot more harm than good. You may think you're protecting their innocence, but in reality you have the possibility to shatter their world by not talking to them about these things.

So, with this I guess my rant goes cold. But I know that I will be talking to my future daughter about all of this, and letting her know that she has all the ability and knowledge to make a decision.

I pray with every fiber in my being that I will raise her to have the strength and courage and intelligence to say the right thing when she is presented the choice, even if the answer is yes. I pray that she will not let any man or woman take advantage of her. I pray that I do not fail her in that.

I will encourage her. I will build her self worth. I will educate her. She will know her voice is heard. She will find power in her knowledge.

I sincerely hope that no mother has to find out her daughter went through any of those events. I also hope that this post makes you think about what you will tell your daughter when the time comes.