I have severe ptsd and anxiety. I can’t stand being in the dark and I hate silence, so when I go to sleep I have to have two fans and a humidifier, plus a funny lighthearted tv show that’s so familiar that I will always recognize the voices (family guy, American dad, the office, etc.) if I don’t have a show playing all night I have horrible nightmares and sometimes night paralysis. I’ve gone to therapy but for some reason they were more interested in what I’d do at school than the years of sexual abuse and stalking I went through. Not a single therapist would even touch the subject. I’m comfortable talking about most of it now but I still have many side effects and habits I’ll likely have for the rest of my life. Any time it’s quiet I have vivid and horrific daydreams that genuinely scare me. Not anything that I do, I don’t imagine killing anyone or harming them, it’s moreso discovering someone hurt or dying. I don’t know how to undo the damage and I feel like since it was never addressed at a young age when these first began I don’t have a chance at being ok in the future without pills.