I need help

So I’m 23, in the middle of nursing school along with my day job. I’ve been “dating” a man for four years. He’s suicidal, bipolar, he gets extremely controlling sometimes but not all the time. He’s had a very very hard life. I’ve tried to leave several times but every time I have, he’s either attempted (and thankfully failed) suicide, or made a plan to do it. Yes he’s controlling, but I can tell by the way he’s talking that this isn’t a control attempt, he honestly just wants to die and he’s exhausted of life.

Yes, I’ve tried getting help for him, he’s been in a mental facility before, he’s been on a variety of different meds that did more harm than good. I’ve done my research, I’ve called help lines, cops, etc. so yes, I’ve tried.

At this point I’m just emotionally exhausted of trying to get him to be ok. I have one year left of nursing school. My main goal now is to just graduate, do this one thing for myself for once, and then handle his situation. He told me he wouldn’t kill himself if i promise I’ll be with him forever, so I’ll keep that going until I can graduate and move... far away...

I’m not in a position (nor is his family or him) to pay for a mental facility or more medications, going through all this, I know for a fact I won’t be able to graduate if I have to deal with this through school, another reason why I’m putting it off for now.

Basically I’m hiding this. (How the hell am I suppose to tell people my situation without them freaking or instantly calling cops, when I’ve already called cops, mental facilities, help lines, etc with no relief or improvement for him). It would absolutely crush my parents if I told them what I’ve been going through for the past four years, my friends just tell me to basically ghost him, but they don’t understand I can’t just accept him killing himself, (how can someone do that?)

I feel so trapped. I have a plan. I think for the situation, it’s the best thing I can do that has the healthiest outcome for everyone. I need to get through this next year, and re evaluate my options.

I’m thinking a mental facility is the best choice. He’s told me he would rather die than go back there.

Which brings me to another ethical issue. If a mental facility is really all that keeps him alive, and he’d rather die, is that just a cruel punishment?

I feel like these are very tough choices, ethical choices, life and death choices, I feel as though this responsibility is too much for one person to go through, yet here I am. I want to go to therapy atleast for myself. Although I don’t think i would be able to discuss this in confidence.

Do I sound absolutely crazy? Do I sound like I may be reasonable? Maybe I just need someone to vent too about the situation since I can’t open up to anyone in real life... thanks for reading... please be nice because honestly I cry every single day over this.. and I am honestly trying my very best..