I just kinda wanted to rant, as I’ve been reading other posts with helpful tips, so I wanna just let things out.

My name is Abby. I’m a 15 year old sophomore in high school. I don’t think I was officially diagnosed, as the doctor I was with just believed I had it, and put me on birth control, which made feel feel physically worse, I became tired, and I started spotting almost on the daily. It actually became heavier and heavier very gradually, so I stopped it.

My symptoms usually start a week before my period actually starts, and sometimes I get lighter symptoms up to two weeks before. This time, as I’m a week away from my period, I totally forgot about my PMDD, and I almost thought I had depression. I was thinking how empty I feel, how much I wanted to cry, how tired I was, how uninteresting things were to me now. How I’m kinda cranky as well. I honestly get so scared this time of the month because I’m scared I might do something. Like self harm, or worse.

I’ve been wanting to exercise, so I was thinking of doing some stretches, and light exercises as I way to help myself. I usually just deal with my feelings, by laying on the ground and crying, for no reason. I yell at people so easily. I’ve been wondering why I’ve been getting more and more annoyed at people through these past two weeks, today being my worst so far.

I’ve been cleaning and doing things because I’ve been feeling uncomfortable with the way my house is dirty, which I do think helped in some way, I feel like I might’ve been worse sooner if I hadn’t.

I’m a pretty lazy person for the most part. I don’t like it, and I am working to better myself on that front, but with this stupid PMDD, I start hating myself more and more. As well as become more lazy, which makes me hate myself more. I’ve missed so much school my freshman year of high school because I just wouldn’t want to get up from bed. Especially because of the hardships I was having with homework, and some of my teachers and classes at the time.

I usually push myself away from others, which for me really hurts me more, as all I want is someone I trust to just be there to tell it’s ok. Like a boyfriend or girlfriend would be amazing, honestly, for just this reason.

I’m probably gonna go do something physical now to help myself, before I become less interested in wanting to, and maybe do some more research on how to help myself more. Maybe even figure out how to train my dog to be an emotional support dog, if she isn’t to old, and still able to be taught new tricks.

If anyone has any advice for maybe the school aspect of PMDD, how to deal with it for school, that’d be amazing. As well as maybe anything else that may help, as I’m still really struggling. But it’s fine if you don’t. Have a nice day, afternoon, or night wherever you are and whenever you read this.