How do I teach 3 1/2 year old screaming isn’t okay?

So my daughter is about 3 1/2. But she’s a screamer, not a crier. When she’s put in time out, she SCREAMS. And I mean so loud that on multiple instances, neighbors have came over because they thought something was wrong. Anytime she’s in trouble or you tell her no, she screams.

I’ve done EVERYTHING. Spanking, talking and explaining, sitting in a quiet room, etc. NOTHING WROKS. I’ve taken away toys, tried a nicer approach and gave her hugs and got her to calm down.

Like right now for instance, I asked her to pick up the hangers she threw on the floor. She told me no. I told her one more time, she screamed no at me. So I told her she isn’t allowed to tell mommy no and yell so she went to the corner. So she’s been screaming, kicking the wall, freaking out.

I honestly am just about to lose my mind with her. The other day at a restaurant she wouldn’t listen and was touching other people’s food so I took away her juice and gave her water instead and she threw the entire plate of food at me.

I’ve read books, articles, watched videos, tried every possible approach but nothing seems to work. Once she calms down, she’s fine. But you can’t get her to calm down without her screaming like a freaking demon. If I leave her alone til she stops, it sometimes takes up to 30-40 minutes of straight screaming. If I talk to her and love on her, she takes that as it’s a joke. If I try being stern and talking, she will stop screaming for a minute but then start again when she realizes I’m not playing