Cold...

I feel like when Ma looks at me, she’s just done. I mean, it really hurts when she’s mad at me. She won’t yell; she’ll just ignore me. And it doesn’t help that we work together. Nobody at the office knows that I’m her daughter (God Forbid). She hasn’t even talked to me directly today.

Feels like I’m suffocating...

I think this mostly happens whenever I’m menstruating. It’s like whenever I feel really vulnerable, she gets really fed up with me.

It’s bad because she won’t talk or look at me, so I turn into a pitiful puppy. I’ll perk my ears and wag my tail if she comes near, only to droop em back down cause she didn’t pat my head. I’m extra pathetic because I know when she finally does talk to me, I’ll smile and bark just because : even if she’s scolding me. At least she’s doing something.

I can’t even get mad because I know whatever it is, it’s my fault. She’s probably tired of telling me the same stuff over and over again. I know she feels trapped because of me.

I wanna ask her to please just talk to me, but I can’t handle her looking at me like I’m pathetic again. I’m 24...and I’m still acting like just a pup...