Struggling

Had to get it out somewhere. I’m so tired of asking for help or talking and getting ignored by people who said they would be there. I’m just done, it’s pretty said when your more comfortable airing things out to complete strangers, we moved very long distance because we had no where to go that was comfortable and couldn’t settle in the state we were in. My boyfriend, my sons daddy, got a job on the spot weeks ago when we got down here (FL) and I was unprepared to be in my own. I thought I’d have help from people that would be there, more than they were anyway. I started to work on my mental health as labor was not easy, mentally. I was unprepared for him and I hate myself for it. I was supposed to get help after getting new health insurance but he’s gone back to work and I haven’t even bothered leaving the house much since he’s left and his family are there when they feel like it, usually inconvenient for me because I’m in the middle of a panic attack. It’s hard to feel like you can get help when you constantly feel like a burden, confused and exhausted even though I try like hell to sleep. He’s not a bad baby I just physically can’t sleep and have run out of Fs to give for myself, just feels like there’s no time and I have no idea what to do anymore.