How do I keep doing this?

Question

I have two beautiful children. I set the goal to pump for a whole year for each of them. Since they’re closer in age I did a little math. Out of the past 30 months, I have been pumping for 22 and have 2-3 more months to go until my baby is 1. I’m exhausted, mentally and physically. My nipples keep cracking even though I’m using ointment and trying to pump for a less amount of time per session. They blister up and then they crack. It’s hard to pump with a 2.5 yr old and a 9 month old being so busy. I just want to quit so badly. I feel like it’s draining me mentally. But I can’t stomach the thought of paying for formula. It’s soooo expensive. He is starting regular baby food but he still drinks SO MUCH. He’s a chunk. Do I have permission to stop pumping? I feel like I would beat myself up and feel like a failure if I stopped just 2-3 months short of a year. Can I get some support and validation please? 😩😔🤦🏼‍♀️😢

Answer

If you would feel disappointed, keep going!! If you’re done, stop! Nobody can make the right decision for you, mma.

Answer

You have done an amazing job providing for your babes. But don’t do it at the expense of your mental and physical health. If you want to be done then be done. You are an amazing mommy no matter what.

Answer

Listen to your gut! If you can’t handle the pain and time and stress it’s time to stop. The thing your babies need most is a healthy happy momma. Whatever you decide, you are doing great! ♥️ 
I finally quit breastfeeding at about 15 months because my nipples were torn up and I was constantly in pain. I was so scared to stop, that it was going to hurt or upset my son. He cried once and was just over it. It was a great relief to me both that the pain was over and that he was just fine.

Answer

First of all, EP is hard... really really hard. You should be super proud of yourself for hanging in there this long. It’s really a huge accomplishment! 
Based on the picture, you have to be in so much pain. It’s totally ok to quit. You are already passed the mark of the recommended 6 months of breast milk. There isn’t a need for you to be struggling physically and mentally. So you shouldn’t feel bad if you want to quit. 
But I understand if you want to hang in there a little longer. The decision is up to you. But you’ve done so much already there isn’t any shame in quitting now.

Answer

Check your flange size ASAP! This should not keep happening. Milky Mama Lactation Support Group on Facebook is an awesome resource.

Answer

My nipples looked like that for what felt like forever when I first started nursing my oldest. Nipple cream made it feel better but didn't heal it at all. What worked was rubbing expressed milk in and letting it air dry. Don't wipe or wash them at all. There's no shame in giving up now if that's what you decide either. If it doesn't heal up soon I'd go see the doctor or a lactation consultant if you decide to continue pumping. I hope you feel better soon and know that you have put in an admirable amount of effort.

Answer

I felt guilty for stopping but it was for my sanity.
We are both much happier now

Answer

I plan to only breastfeed for 6 months! So I think you’re good! 💙

How do I keep doing this?

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