What’s wrong with me?

Question

When I think of my future I think of me being married and having 1-2 kids. 
However when I really think about it, I view kids, especially a little girl, as a nuisance. I want to be the center of attention and I don’t want to have to give up my things for someone else. I know this makes me sound horrible. 
My thoughts are because either I’m just too young (I’m 22), or because I had a pretty terrible relationship with my mother, I don’t view them as a blessing. I do want a little boy, but I know that’s not guaranteed if I were to try to have kids in the future. 
Will this ever change or should I go ahead and tell my boyfriend (who wants kids) that I don’t think I want them?

Answer

I think you need to tell him exactly what you told us, then at the very least wait some time before revisiting the idea of having kids because you shouldn't go into parenthood having a selfish outlook

Answer

You’re still young, it’s normal to have selfish tendencies still. You may change your mind one day, you may not...but I would be open about those feelings in your relationship.

Answer

You’re still young :) We’re all different in our views. It sounds like, from the beginning of your post, you DO want kids. You’re just afraid of being the kind of mother that your mom was to you. I got adopted and I wasn’t close with my adopted mom, so I was always afraid to have a distant relationship with my children. But instead, I made sure to have a strong bond and connection with my children. I gave my children what I had wanted from my mom. I think that, if the time comes for you, you will be an amazing mother and you will sacrifice anything for your babies happiness and security. 
But for now, do not feel bad about how you currently feel. You don’t have children right now. Things will be different once you’re actually pregnant and they will be the center of your whole world. If you get any negative comments, just ignore them. You are childless right now and you have the right to feel however you want. 
Take the time with your boyfriend, be the center of attention right now since it’s just the two of you. Have fun with him and embrace all the joy and fun of not having a newborn. You can still have fun with a baby, or course, but I mean while you don’t have one, take advantage of that :)

Answer

I’d be honest with what you’re feeling now. You’re young and it is such a great thing that you acknowledge that you don’t want kids right now. That’s called being responsible! It might mean you will feel that way forever, it might mean you’ll grow out of it. Who knows?! Being honest with him is the best thing you can do right now for both of you. Best of luck!

Answer

I mean, you're 22. So it's still cool to be selfish and want to think inoy about yourself.  Most people are like this. But you'll most likely mature and grow out of that . Please wait til that happens to reproduce,  because I can assure you, once a child comes, NOTHING is about you for quite a while. And once you're mature enough, this wont bother you (for the most part)

Answer

To be fair, kids are often a nuisance! They can also be a blessing at the same time if you feel you're ready for them. I think part of this feeling may be that you either don't like kids or don't feel like you connect with them. I don't generally like kids or connect with them, either, but I love my son more than anything and I definitely want another child. It's so different when its your own child vs someone else's. I connect with him and genuinely love spending time with him. With that being said, though, some women just don't want kids or feel the need to have them. This is completely OK too! If you see yourself staying with your boyfriend long term and maybe getting married then I'd definitely bring it up with him. It doesn't necessarily sound like you for sure don't want kids, but it definitely sounds like you don't want kids YET. Your feeling may change over time (you're still very young!) or maybe it won't, but either way you have to be true to yourself and true to your own wants and needs.

Answer

You should 1000000% communicate this to your partner - it would be incredibly unfair not to. You clearly aren’t ready to be a parent and make sacrifices for your kid, so it would be irresponsible to try and conceive a child at this time in your life. That may change later, but for now you need to communicate all this openly and honestly with your partner.

What’s wrong with me?

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