I almost killed my little sister. It was an accident. I was sleeping and she I guess got cold and saw me shaking so she thought I was cold too. So she got in bed with me. And idk what happened one minute I was sleeping having a really bad dream. The next my hands are around her throat. I didn't mean to do that. My mom thought I did it on purpose. My little sister was crying. I locked myself in the bathroom. I was suicidal and had the razor blade in one hand and my phone in the other. (My rape was 4 days prior to this and I didn't tell anyone until morning) I made a few deep slits in my arm for hurting my little sister. And called 911when I could not stop the bleeding. I dont know why I did that. But moments later a cop came and knocked on the door. I was arrested kinda. I was crying and bleeding. The officer took me out to the ambulance where they also tried to stop the bleeding I dont remember that I passed out. When I woke up. I was asked questions like where all the bruises came from and what happened that night and why I did that to my sister. I told them that I was sleeping having a bad dream I woke up and I was hurting her. I got transferred to a psych hospital. And I there I told them everything. I was put on medication to help me sleep and another for my anxiety and my depression. I got to see my little sister and I couldn't stop apologizing to her I told her that I loved her and hugged her. My visitation was cut short that day because I had a brake down. They guy that did what he did was caught and taken to prison when I testified against him. When I got released from the hospital I felt better I could breathe I still cant forgive myself for anything that happened ( my little sister is good she is now a pain in my ass that tries to do everything I do she takes tick taks when i take my medication. It's cute to see a smaller version of myself in little black hoodies and jeans.