Last year I quit a job that I really liked (had great benefits, though not so great pay) to move to a foreign country to be with my husband (he's from there) so we could try to start a family. We've been married 3 years, together for 10. Well, it turns out we both have fertility issues though his is not nearly as bad as mine (I have an autoimmune disorder, hypothyroidism, endometriosis, and just found out one of my tubes is completely blocked). I am trying to be positive given the situation. I'm also trying to be open-minded about this new lifestyle but I'm so unhappy. I was trying to learn the language and had a tutor but I just can't get it. I grew up in a more rural area and am in a huge city now -- it's so overwhelming and depressing. I count down the days until I go home to see my friends and family, have some independence, and enjoy the outdoors. I just feel so alienated.

Anyway, we have been talking about doing invitro since we've followed the drs advice/treatment and I still haven't been able to get pregnant. My husband is like hell bent on having children no matter what we have to do, but I don't want to do invitro (I'm scared and my body has been through so much that I'm just tired of people poking and prodding and putting things where I don't want them). I would rather adopt. He doesn't want to adopt and says he wants his own child, that it's not the same. Then he accused me of not wanting children bad enough to do invitro which pissed me right off because I have cried over this so many times and it hurts. I said that we don't even have everything figured out yet and his business/family's business is a big responsibility for him so how will he have time. I asked why are we rushing. Well he is going to be 40 this year and I'm 34, so I guess that's why, and also his father asked when he would see his grandkids right before he passed away.

I just really don't want to do invitro. It's expensive and not guaranteed, plus it is my body and I am not comfortable doing it. I feel like he should respect that. Instead, he got mad and said that if I didn't want to be here and I didn't want to have kids then we should get a divorce and I should go home. It hurt so much but I was too angry to cry so I just gave him his pillow, said good night, and went to bed. I don't even know what to do or think. I just feel hurt.