self harm

i live on an island where i’m always at the beach and i cut on my legs, since i’ve started i stopped going to the beach and wearing shorts which resulted in loosing a majority of my friends (stupid right) and losing my close relationship with my dad. the other day i finally gathered up the courage and decided to go to the beach with one of my close friends (because i feel safe around her) and that’s all she wanted to talk about and why i’m doing it, what i expect out of it, no support. i get her being concerned but all it did was make me more insecure. i don’t really know why i’m writing this i just feel so overwhelmed and i’m looking for anonymous support