My ex husband is in AA and sent me a long, detailed, very nice and sincere-seeming apology text. Should I reply?

Question

I should add: I still care about him, and worry about him, but we don’t talk because just about every other time I’ve replied to him he’s been drunk and abusive. Now, though, he says he’s 28 days sober. 
I should also add that I’m remarried, quite happily, to a supportive and wonderful man who says he understands if I want to reply, and understands if I don’t. Thanks!

Answer

I said yes, a detail reply. My reason is it’s a step in him gain sobriety. He is going to have to realize the wrongs he’s done, he’s going to have to own up to them, take responsibility, and apologize. That’s never an easy thing to do.

Answer

As a wife to a recovering alcoholic,  I think its important for him to be able to apologize and make things right with those he has hurt. It would be helpful for you to at least acknowledge the fact that you received his letter. Now, any thing past that is up to you, but I feel that you should at least respond and maybe wish him luck

Answer

A simple thank you and congratulations on your sobriety is sufficient since u care about him still. Anything more would be inappropriate and less would be rude.

Answer

Yes, it's important to his recovery and he's put himself out there. You can be civil without it meaning anything more.

Answer

You can if you feel so inclined. He is doing it because making ammends is part of the AA process. My dad did the same for my mom when he went through the program. She didn't really care for it, but for him it was more a way to make peace with his mistakes than actually get forgiveness from her..

Answer

If he was abusive toward you then no. If he stays sober over a year, then maybe I would but 28 days? Nope.

Answer

I would reply and say that you’re happy that he’s taking care of himself and maybe just let him know that you forgive him and have moved on from that chapter in your life. Then just wish him continued success with his sobriety and best wishes.

Answer

I would acknowledge what he said in whatever way is most healthy for you whether that is short or long form. 
Likewise, I have an ex with whom I only interact if he is actively treating his mental health issues. When he has let his treatment lapse in the past, he is an absolutely toxic person to be around. 
It would be completely reasonable for you to indicate that a key boundary here is that you will only interact with him when he is sober and actively working to maintain that sobriety.

Answer

Well, from what you're saying the real question should be: Do you want to?
We can all have our opinions on what to do or not to do, but what matters is what you want to do and if you need to.
I would probably reply. Not in details, but just to let him know that I have heard him and I wish him all the best in the future.

My ex husband is in AA and sent me a long, detailed, very nice and sincere-seeming apology text. Should I reply?

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