So it was August 3rd when I got hella impatient. Well my took my impatient ass to shields (it's like dicks sporting goods but on steroids) because I was bored and escalates are fun. Well I got bored and started joking around with an employee that works there. ( I am with my friends and husband. My husband was playing with a bowe) I started to say welp looks like I am going to have the baby right here. My friends looked at me and started laughing. So I kept going just messing with the employee. The employee said well you would probably have better luck at camping equipment. My friends and I are dying at this point. My husband walked out of the firing range and looked at the guy then looked at all of us and we were still dying. My husband tells the guy to relax that the baby isn't going to come in shields. They guy finnaly gets the joke and he starts laughing so hard it was so funny. Then I stand up off of the bench I was sitting on. And ..... I felt a gush thinking it was probably just pee I went to the bathroom did my business but when I wiped I thought I saw pink. ( remember that part ok) so I tell my husband when we get out of the store hey I am going to call labor and Delivery because something is up. He looked at me and thought I was joking. So I call them anyway tell them and at this point my husband realizes that I am not joking. So we speed off to the hospital. We get there and they tell me I am still 1 cm and everything looks good. My water didn't brake ( at this point I am thinking I am crazy) because they aren't believing the part were I saw pink. So i went home and got home around 12am and i was hurting and tired so i eat half of my McDonald's and go to take a bath and try to sleep. I took my bath and got in to my bed around 2am ( i was busy randomly ranting about something on Facebook) lay down and fall asleep I wake up around 4am and before i woke up i was noticing some weird cramping that wasn't going away. So I got up and took a warm bath and started to track when they were happening ( I was just tracking because 4am and I felt like it) boi didn't that come in handy.

I got out of the bath around 430 and I tried to just chill on the to6till the cramping stopped I got curious and wiped again

I actually posted this because I thought I was just seeing things.then I tried to stand up and go back to bed. Because I am tired. Nope my legs decided hey the floor is closer so I layed on the floor until somewhere around 5 when my husband had to pee saw me and helped me to bed then the worst thing ever happened a slimy red thing just fell onto the floor and my cat ate it. (I got really sick really fast) (I also no longer trust my Kato she had food I have no idea why she ate that) then I layed in bed and thought they went away so I went to sleep (haha I was so wrong) they came back worse and I really thought it was nothing but I was crying and I wanted to have someone with a doctor's degree tell me that I am crazy and its nothing. So we go to labor and Delivery again the check me around 8am and 4cm and 100% affected. My exact words were well this is escalating quickly. Then the pain was just getting worse and worse so I did the one thing you should probably not joke about wile in active labor. Penis and holocaust jokes along with some really morbid stuff. It helped my mentel stability a little until they asked if I wanted an eperdirl (I told them yes just stab me in the back ) not long after that they came in and my water broke. ( it felt so weird) then I had a erge to poo that just kept getting worse and worse. Then it was time to push. Ha anxiety was tarrable for the first hr and a half then I made more morbid jokes. Then like 2 hrs the dr was in the room and I was between contractions I was pushing the drug button like crazy. The dr asked me is that doing anything for you. I said no I am just hoping that if I get enough my hips will stop hurting so bad. Everyone laughed and I laughed while pushing and yelling at my son (who at this point is chillin in my birth canal) I thought I told him to get out. Apparently it was not in English. Then 3 hrs in I got annoyed and just whent ham with the pushing apparently I was telling my husband with every push how much I love him. I also broke a nurses finger on accident. I still feel bad about that. Then the dr ran back in the room . And everyone was telling me stop pushing. I snap and tell them that I cant I have been pushing for 3.5hrs. Then the room got quite and I felt my body relax and my son cry. I was confused for a min I was like wait is he here they put him on my chest and I started to cry. My boy was here I was so hungry after giving birth I was like food please.

Nobody told me to close my eyes wile pushing so yah this is what they looked like a few hrs later

Then this morning I woke up from a nap to this

Gotta love life some days