The hopeful quitter!!!

Im at a point where I have kind of just given up. My husband and I have tried to get pregnant for over a year without success so I decided to download this app and track my cycle for the past 4 months. My husband and I are at the point where we have just given up...no more ovulation tracking and attempting to do the nasty on specific days.... everytime I track my cycle and I get hopeful that aunt flow has passed but that red nasty of a woman knocks on my door and says "surprise im here, try again". Im tired of almost getting excited onlt to be left feeling disappointed in my body. I am tired of negative pregancy tests. .just tired!!!!

Has it ever seemed like when u want a baby the most , thats when everyone else ia pregnant? Two pregnancies on my job, my sister in law just had a baby girl and so did my cousin and now my niece is pregnant with a girl .....im super happy for their joy but secretly wishing i could experience the joy of having a baby girl. However, no matter what I know im blessed God has given me two amazing boys that I love to the moon and back. At this point if God has seen me only fit two have to boys then so be it because he is the ultimate decision maker and besides my husband and I have havent been at the best point in our marriage so its definitely probably not the right time....

Side note: my cycle is two days late....not sure if i should be excited or not....however God knows what is best for my family and I