So the first time I’ve been kissed it was with one of my best friends and it was just a peck and he surprised me with it, my second time was with my most recent ex, we were laying on the couch watching tv and he tried kissing me, I said no I didn’t know what I was doing and that I didn’t feel comfortable doing it. So he turned my head towards his and just started making out with me, it was pretty bad, he used a lot of tongue. But then he gave me a hickey and I’ve never felt anything so amazing in my entire life I literally dont know how to explain the amount of pleasssureeee. But my issue is, I can’t engage. While he made out with my face I sat there for two minutes like really awkward not knowing when to start cs he was going so hard and fast. But then I went real slow, I bit his lip, sucked on his tongue a little bit, but I would never have had my first “makeout” If he didn’t force it on me cause I’m a pussy. He’s tried kissing me many times before that, we were laying in bed and he was like “let me teach you” and I freaked out and said I couldn’t do it. I don’t know what’s wrong with me or why I decline or turn down every chance or move these guys are making. Can someone please help me and give me the best advice you have!! I would greatly appreciate it