When I was in High school i met so many people. It was such a weird time lol so cringyyy!!! I try not to think about it but I can’t help it. So In 7th grade my first ever crush had a mop head😂 and lots of crushes after that lol The summer after 8th grade, going into freshman year. I was talking to this sweet boy named (Jared) that I knew since middle school started. He was a little strange lol he would say weird things I didn’t quite understand but I thought he was funny. He went to church all the time and told me about it. He told me about his family, his interests. But we stopped talking for some reason and I thought he hated me for the rest of high school because of it. So I moved on to liking other people. Freshman year of High School I met Nathan.......I don’t even know where to start with this one. He was my longest relationship. 5 years (fucking wasted). There was a point that I thought he was ‘The One’. I lost my virginity to him, slept with him etc. he was great at first...or maybe I just ignored the red flags. Now that I look back at It, there were times when he forced me to do sexual acts on him just A few months into dating him. over time he got worse. He turned into a gaslighter, narcissist, manipulative and evil guy. I broke up with him once because I couldn’t take it. I saw someone else for a bit(His name was Brandon...R.I.P, Hun.) Brandon, Was also my close friend before we dated and I broke up with him because I didn’t want to lose his friendship. But for some reason I started seeing Nathan again...and he only got worse...He threw tantrums Because I didn’t want to have sex, he called me names like slut, cunt and whore because I saw someone when we were BROKEN UP, he was seeing someone too at that time too. He accused me of cheating almost everyday, he shouted in my face making me scared, he sped the car up when he was angry, he made fun of me for my phobias. He told me I was a piece of shit, he told me I was crazy, he isolated me from my family, he was upset with me for having fun. He blew up my phone if I didn’t answer him in a few mins, saying things to upset me. When My cousin passed away, I was on edge and very sad while at the funeral......And ya’ll he told me to chill with an fricken attitude...AT A FUNERAL. And that day i was coming up with a plan to leave again.

Now this whole time I was in this abusive relationship. I was talking to the sweet boy again (Jared!!!). But We weren’t flirting with each other. We were just friendly. Everything about our friendship then was so innocent.

The next 2 days was the path to freedom. One morning I woke up early to go to my ukulele lesson and my teacher is so cool! He made my mornings great. However, After the lesson I look at my phone and it is blown up by no other than Nathan. He said something along the lines of “wow I guess I’m not important enough to you for you to text me” and “I guess you never loved me” blah blah......I blew up after that. I kicked him out of my life. It took me a week to get him to go away. After my Friend Brandon died he was trying to question if I had feelings for him still. Also the DAY he died, he showed up at my house uninvited to talk about himself probably.

Brandon was Jared’s best friend and we both mourned for his death together. Jared talked to me everyday to make sure I was alright. He called me all the time. He is still strange but he’s so innocent and sweet lol. We met up about a month later to hangout and when I looked at him I actually fell I. Love with him. I felt a huge positive energy

Coming my way and had a feeling he’d be in my life.

Long story short. Im The sweet boy I knew in middle school. He’s literally the man of my dreams. I told him about my abusive Ex and he actually cried for me, told me he felt so sad for me...and he held me in a way I haven’t been held in 5 years. He told he won’t let me go and that we’re a team. And I took his virginity lol 😆 he’s the second guy I had sex with and I plan on him being my last...he’s literally so perfect 😭 he doesn’t get mad at me easily, he doesn’t question me, he trusts me, and he loves me 😭❤️ I cry a lot because I thought I wouldn’t have this 😭❤️