10th August 2019, marks 4 years and 4 months of constant disappointment. My period came today, and I sit here in distress thinking, when I'm old and dull, who will be the light and life of my house? my house is so big yet so empty..... and quite.... It eats me already, the emptiness will consume me as I grow older. I sit here by myself thinking, who will remind me of the things I forget when I get old, who will remind me take my vitamins or get my routine checkups done? who will take care of me? who will be my shoulder when I need help in walking? I will be all by myself without an offspring. I will be a pathetic soul, a burden on my far off relatives because they will have to care for me when they will be busy with their families and kids. I will just be a miserable lady all by herself, who God decided just not to bless.... and what if my husband dies before I die? how will I survive without him? who will bear my expenses? I am already 28 and we are nowhere near to be settled, instead we are in debt. I don't think we'll ever be settled or out of debt considering my husband's lack of interest in working hard..... who will pay my bills when he is gone? what will happen to me? how will i survive all by myself? why did GOD decide to punish me like this? what on earth did I ever do to deserve this?