So I just got got off work at 1:30 am to go to my boyfriends house since he asked me to come over. I get here and he’s knocked out on the bed, I go to kiss him and he’s drooling and mumbles some words before falling deep again.

I get in my pjs and get into bed with him, and I can’t help but have an urge to go through his phone. I’ve been holding back a lot lately because even though he’s messed up slightly before, I wanted to trust him. I held back for a few but something was pushing me to do it, so I gave in. And I’m glad I did.

I find him messaging a “customer”. Calling her fine and asking her if she could come down and smoke with him. She sent him pics to which he replied with the “👅” emoji. She was telling him how she found him so attractive and was so happy that he went up to her. How his voice is so sexy.

He downloaded tinder. He messaged a girl under “her name tinder”. I am so hurt.

I’ve never messaged anyone, I’ve never touched anyone, I’ve never spoken to anyone in anyway that would ruin my relationship. I love him so much. We have a dog together. I’m sorry if this isn’t understandable, I’m crying while typing. The same thing happened in my last relationship with my first ever boyfriend. Why do I deserve this? I’m so loyal and I’m not talking out my ass with this one. I am a beautiful woman with a good heart. I just want someone who will love me the same.

I love him so much and this is going to be so hard for me. I hope I don’t break and fall for lies and promises again. I’m in so much pain right now.