Just a vent here but... I started university last year and almost immediately found an AMAZING group of friends. We had adventures together and movie marathons and went out to eat and helped each other with school. They were great!

But then I started dating one of them and like... it feels like everyone sort of drifted away? If I spent time with him I was neglecting our other friends? My girl friends would get mad at me for hanging out with him and I would end up feeling so isolated I’d go to him even more. He was the only person who didn’t make me feel like crap about myself or try to take advantage of me.

I feel bad even calling them out; the only chances I’ve gotten to address any issues they tell me they either didn’t know they made me feel like that or they didn’t mean to. And I feel like I’m being over sensitive or letting my anxiety win but I really don’t feel connected to them or able to trust them anymore. I’ve been manipulated in the past and I don’t want to think that if them but it’s what my gut is telling me.

Over the summer it just got worse; my anxiety got bad and I barely heard from anyone. I found myself reaching out a lot and eventually just feeling crushed every time I went to message first. We start the next semester soon and I know it’s not gonna be the same. I just... miss having friends, people I can rely on & trust. I’m far away from my hometown or family and really all I have here is my boyfriend and a few friends who live off campus.

Wish me luck. This semester I have all new roommates and I’m hoping they’re a bit more long-term but I’m also nervous to live with strangers again. Hopefully this year goes better though. 😔