I have been clean from cutting for 3 years. I was addicted to it for 5 years. I almost died 3 times. i had my son a week ago. I thought I was going to be ok. I thought I had everything under control. But those thoughts of wanting to cut. I dont even know why I have the urge. I hate the fact that it is back and that i am craving it. I keep telling myself no because if something goes wrong your son will be mother less. Your husband will probably lose his shit and most likely blame himself. And if it doesn't you know that you are going to slip and someone is going to see what you have done. I have to tell myself that I cant just throw those 3 years clean away. I worked so hard for them. I don't know what I am looking for by posting this I guess it's just me getting this off my chest. Because I dont think I can tell anyone else.