Why my baby⁉️ 😭😭

All my friends are having their babies and getting to hold them but I didn’t even carry my baby for that long I didn’t even know I lost my baby until I let someone in... I wish I would have held my baby just once I wish I could have felt their little kicks and punches I wanted my baby even if my baby wasn’t planned I loved their father I still do of course you can take him out my life but why my baby 😩😭