Me and my boyfriend have been together 5 years. He’s a great guy. Cooks, cleans, helps with my 3 children from a previous marriage, etc. we moved in together 3 years ago. At first, I didn’t feel comfortable with remarriage or more kids. I’ve now opened up to it...

Anyway, for the last month it feels off. I found out he was planning to propose and I think that’s when I started to change. I’ve also lost my job and we had a disagreement about letting my oldest play football this year. I went ahead and said yes, first time we didn’t agree on a situation and I went against what he wanted. He has now said he won’t help with any transportation or attend games because my son’s disrespectful attitude toward me is intolerable and he shouldn’t be rewarded by doing extra curricular activities like sports. I agree with what he said, but my son is also 14. I think it’s hormonal and dealing with his dad letting him down again and honestly, he’s not disrespectful like I’ve seen other kids be. He’s just being a teen in my opinion and sometimes they get mouthy, so whatever. He isn’t getting in my face, or cursing or anything like that. He said he wouldn’t argue just wouldn’t help. Ok, kid will play. People have always commended me on how my boys behave with me and others so that pisses me off he’s expecting perfection or God knows what, and I get it. I appreciate it, but no. He always talks about how he never thought to say or do what my kids do, and I’m like “I’ve done way worse and I guess everyone can’t be perfect like you were.” The kids are great kids. Whatever. I’ve also had 3 periods in 7 weeks so that pisses me off. Can’t have sex, im bloated and I’ve been trying to lose weight which I can’t tell because I’m full of water or blood. Back to our relationship, we’ve only had sex 3 times in 7 weeks and we have barely talked the last 3 weeks. School started yesterday. He still packed the boys lunch and ironed their shirts and plays great step dad. I know he isn’t cheating or doing anything to hurt me. We talked a week ago, I thought we were good and now it feels worse. Is it me? Did I allow the fear of marriage to spook me? (His friend’s wife overheard a conversation and shared it with me. I was upset that this long into our relationship there was no ring and apparently he’s been trying to plan something special. I thought he’d do it while we were on vacation but all of this was going on so I knew it wouldn’t happen then.) Am I letting all the external factors get me off my game. All I want to do is sleep. I’m depressed and I want to get on top and fuck his brains out because I’m horny but it won’t solve anything and he’s not the type to have sex “just because”.

For the record, he’s an ass when he wants to be. He has no problem telling me I’m fat or that I’m not losing weight. (I was 160, down to 137 but according to him he can’t tell the difference). That’s how he “plays” and it usually doesn’t phase me and I laugh it off. He’ll tell me I don’t do shit but after my divorce I busted my ass to get where I was. Maybe I didn’t pack every lunch, or pick out every outfit, but I made every game, every performance, every teacher conference and open house.... maybe not the best house keeper but best mom I could be given my circumstances and financially, I made it happen for them with no help from their father. I made a bad move and lost everything I’ve worked for the last 7 years. I’m working to build it back up, but if I can’t get my money soon, we are going to have to sell this house and start over. I’m ok with it but I’m not.

I really don’t need anyone to tell me to do better because I have a “catch” or “leave him, it’s abuse.” I’ve done abuse physically and mentally and that isn’t it. We are both assholes, I’m just currently not in the mood.

I honestly don’t know what response I’m looking for. I just need him to talk to me and have us get past this, but maybe it is over and I’m just holding on because my boys need him. Am I being a bitch and over emotional because of my periods? Or maybe because for once, I can’t control an outcome? Am I overreacting to say at the end of the month we need to pack up and go out separate ways? Is too much good normalcy getting me uncomfortable? What is wrong with me?!