So I am 34 weeks, I haven’t seen at all or heard much from the baby’s dad since around 12ish weeks when I broke things off with him (extremely manipulative, lying, treating me like garbage) he’s been uninvolved, not helped prepare for the baby, etc. we met yesterday to get a parenting plan together. At the very end names were brought up and he feels very passionate about our son having his last name. My problem is that I’ve seen issues with registering for school, traveling, doctors visits, etc when children don’t have the same name as the primary caregiver and also that my first son, (who has my last name due to his father never being involved as he raped me) would feel resentful or confused why he doesn’t have the same last name as his brother. Or that the baby’s dad may drop out at any point and he’s resentful that my first son doesn’t have to deal with the disappointment of his name being a reminder of the absence. I know the dad wouldn’t be very happy but in my opinion I would give the baby my name for now with the opportunity to change it if he gets older and dad sticks around and he chooses to change it.

What are people’s general thoughts on this?