I just wanted to vent .. soooo let me take you back

May 22, 2019: I started my job at cookout just a summer job until college started back up. I saw this guy we’ll call him Duck I thought Duck was cute I didn’t pay him any mind cuz I was only there to work that’s it.

I’m learning the ropes it’s my first fast food job I’m only 20 I’ve always done a warehouse job or been a receptionist, so I’m nervous I don’t wanna mess up on my first day. I see the guy eyeing me but I’m like nah can’t scrutinize with my coworkers. After a week of being there i begin to see a lot of interesting things like who mess with who,and different gossip. I even find out who got kids and how many. Duck ends up saying he has two kids by the same woman and I’m like oh wow welp that’s nice. He got some beautiful babies. ANYWAY So not even two weeks go by and here comes the clown in me thinking this guy bout to be the one.

June 4, 2019: It’s a slow night everybody is vibing. One of the coworkers was like Duck want you I’m like WHO?! I go see what he wants he starts a conversation with me asking me how I like the job and about my tattoos and I’m like where this conversation going.

A slight silence begins to creep up and I go to the front. Everybody like just give him your number y’all would be cute. Here I go writing my number down and I give him my number. My shift ends and I go home I’m waiting for a text never get it. To myself I’m like God trying to tell you something don’t ignore it. But because I’m the type to give the benefit of the doubt I was like maybe he was tired after work. Before work the next day he texts me and he explains he lost my number but he found it. We start asking each other questions. I’m liking what I’m seeing and hearing. But I’m still skeptical.

This is one of our messages it’s like from late June just so you get a feel just wait until I finish explaining and you’ll understand my slight anger.

So a few days later he’s off and I end up working I had a bad day and he rushes to come see me. I got off at 3am and we talked until damn near 5 am about everything. I even let this man see my goofy side. We’re both Capricorns. So I expected the vibe to be nice. The next day same thing. We finally choose a day to go on a date. I love scary movies so we went to see Ma. He fell asleep during the entire movie. I was up alone. Mind you this particular day is the anniversary that i lost my mom it marked 7 years. He apologized for falling asleep and said he’d make it up to me which he did kind of. We had a second date we watched a movie made out for the first time and just enjoyed each other’s company. Everything was perfect way too perfect.

July 2019: I’m head over heels a clown now I’m buying him food giving him $10 here and there he promised to pay me back even though I’m suppose to be saving. I’m telling him my problems. I’m really wanting to be with him. I told him a traumatic experience that I’ve never told anybody. Our connection was literally something out of a fairy tale. At the end of July I moved with my older sister which meant he could spend the night with me. I allowed him to practically live with me. My nephew was even fond of him. We’ll joke and talk in third person about how his “girlfriend is pretty and can’t wait to come home to him” or “if he’s single cuz I’m tryna holla at him and He’ll reaping saying he has a girlfriend she’ll be mad” Now here comes the foolery.

August 2019: Something is like he ain’t it. I’m telling myself he hasn’t done nothing wrong. I should of listened to myself. I explained to him the feelings I’m feeling. He’s telling me he’d never hurt me blah blah blah. BUT TODAY THE FOOLERY IS RIDICULOUS !!!!

Basically he been telling his baby momma one thing and me another saying he want her. He’s gonna kill himself if she doesn’t take him back, etc. The little message that says “Oh but you happy with yo bitch” referring to me said by his baby momma about me and his response “Never been happy Never will be happy again” MIND YOU THIS DUDE WAS LAYING ON ME A FEW HOURS BEFORE THIS HAPPENED WE’RE CUDDLING AND KISSING AND HE SAYS THAT. THEN THE AUDACITY TO SAY I HOPE YOU DIDNT THINK WE WE’RE TOGETHER JUST BLEW ME OUT THE WATER. Like I introduced him as my boyfriend he even said it, but obviously we were nothing. NOW prior to this last Thursday I was diagnosed with a very bad case anemia. They’re still running test and everything but so far I need a blood transfusion. And I could literally go to sleep one day and just not wake up because my organs shut down. I honestly don’t even care about him anymore it’s just a fucked up situation because I should of saw the clown in him and seen the clown activities I was doing for him.

But hey I start my junior year of college in less than like 4 days 🤷🏽‍♀️