When are you having another? I hate that question!

Question

I hate when people ask me when I'm having another, or worse "Do you want more". When someone who is merely an acquaintance asks it is uncomfortable.  I don't want to say, "I'm trying, but it hasn't happened."  That would just be TMI and would be incredibly awkward.  I just don't have a ready response for this.  Although I would love to say "Yes I want more.  Would you care to hear about my miscarriages first or the infertility issues?"

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Then when it comes to my mom, or my SO's mom it's just as bad.  His mom and mine both want us to hurry up and have girl.  We have a five year old boy. I've been pregnant one time since I had my son, but it ended in my second miscarriage.  The first was before my son was born.  It was bad for many reasons, one of which is that were both already getting baby gifts for us in the first trimester.  I hated having to tell them that we lost the baby.  Now we still get asked why I'm not pregnant yet.  His mom and my mom never experienced secondary infertility.
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How do you handle this question?

Answer

Maybe I will start a crowd sourcing page for IVF, and when people question me about having a 2nd, I'll hand them a business card with the website link 😜

Answer

I have been pregnant with 8 babies that were confirmed by ultrasound...I have two living children...I have had many tests and have been placed in the 'unknown'category because the tests all come back normal...I have no problem conceiving but I can't carry to term...my last lost was at nearly 4 months and had to have a D&C two months later as I never naturally miscarried...it really gets to me...and anyone who feels so inclined to ask when I'm having more or if I want more I tell them the truth...yes I want another but I've lost SIX babies mid term it's not so easy for everyone and when people ask that question it HURTS so perhaps you should ask strangers something so personal...I can't tell you how many people I've told that too...most of them don't know what to say but hopefully it makes them think before asking another person the same and ruining their day like they did mine...

Answer

I get this question all the time,  I only have one beautiful little girl she will be 5 at the end of October,  I suppose my answer to that question really depends on my emotional mood that day. Which is a little unfair to the people that ask. (But if they asked then they deserve the truth,  maybe they will think twice next time) But I usually say that if it was my choice I would have already had another child by now,  but it hasn't been as easy this time. Normally I wouldn't go into details unless it's someone I know well,  but we've had a miscarriage just a couple years ago.  We are activity trying at the moment,  but I'm begining to give up hope,  I was recently diagnosed with PCOS, which was a little relief that there is a reason that it hasn't happened yet,  (the PCOS thing kinda aggravates me because I am only 5' 8, and 135 lbs, which doesn't seem typical for PCOS for what I've researched) but i also have sad thoughts that my one and only might be it.  I never wanted a big family, but maybe just 1 sibling for my daughter would be ideal.  When I get really down about it I try to think of how blessed I am that I have my daughter. Baby's are such a blessing, is amazing it happens at all. It was so easy for me the first time which makes it aggravating as well.  I hope you have good luck and baby dust is with you :)

When are you having another? I hate that question!

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