Okay so 2019 so far has been a year filled with anxiety. My anxiety has always been terrible but this year in particular has been horrendous. I worry about things constantly and if I dont stop worrying after a day it turns into full blown paranoia. Sometimes it will be about my medical health or other times it will be about what I've looked at on the internet. Silly things like that but i get genuinely panicked.

Today for example i got a headache, just a simple headache and I cried my eyes out thinking that I had a brain tumour. I cant live like this. My mum keeps on telling me that I just need to learn to accept the world and with that my anxiety will become less and less as I learn to deal with things. But I just keep on getting worse and worse. I've had anxiety since I was in primary school and it has only gotten worse over the years.

I'm considering seeing how I go for the rest of the year or so, but I feel like I should get help for this. My mum doesnt really want me being on medication but I'm 17 almost 18, she doesnt really have a say in that anymore. Should i go to the doctor and see what they say? Because I seriously am driving myself to the point of full blown paranoia. I feel like I'm going mad!