Embarrassed

Brooklynn • Due April 2020 🌈 👶💗💙

Today was my ultrasound appointment, I go in and they call me back and a nurse comes in and says that they will be doing an ultrasound. She comes back and said my Dr said no because my levels were low last week. I went to the ER the night before last and they did a pelvic exam and blood work because I was spotting. My cervix is still closed and my level came back at 13000! Great! Right? I was so happy and relieved. This is my 4th pregnancy after 3 miscarriages. So since the nurse said no and all that I was like okay.. She walks out and I'm crying in the room, bawling my eyes out because my hopes were up.. I start cussing and I'm like this is fucking dumb. My hopes were up and now I'm so let down. I knew I wasn't going to see the baby probably, I just wanted to see something. Even a sac would make me so happy. Well she comes back in because I'm sure they heard me cussing and crying and my husband trying to calm me down but I was so upset. So I go back to the ultrasound room and she does one and I see a sac. Afterwards I'm apologizing to her and my Dr saying how I'm sorry and I'm so emotional. It isn't easy and I could not contain my crazy at all. I'm so embarrassed and I'm sure they all hate me now. I talked to a couple friends and told them about this and how I was and they were all thinking I'm crazy and that I should have called down. What's your opinions? I feel so bad. My hormones are so crazy right now and i had my hopes up so high. I feel so stupid.