Please read and comment! Sorry so long. Need support.

So idk who my real dad is, I'm 23 and my whole life I was raised to believe the guy I call my (daddy #1)was also my father. But when I was a kid my all my cousins use to make fun of me and be mean to me by saying the other guy who I could belong to (sperm donor #2 )could be my father but they always said really mean horrible things about it to me. And I wasn't even old enough to even understand what they meant or why they always said that to me.

They stopped at some point in my child hood, but I'll never forget it bc it really hurt my feelings and made me feel horrible and I was a child and didn't even understand.

So anyways I grew up and my mother still never explained to me that she DOESN'T KNOW WHO MY FATHER REALLY IS. Never planned on telling me the truth at all.

So I started to finally to question it just a few years ago I was probably 19/20 when I finally started really asking everyone and finding out all the info I can .I think the first person I might have talked to about it was my (daddy#1) and then it was the other guy sister; who's my aunt by marriage and then I just started talking to anyone who would listen and when I got a chance that had info about anything to do with it.

I talked to everyone about it but the person who I needed to talk to the most about it. Witch was the guy who my mom cheated on my dad with who could really be my father (sperm donor #2).

so last year I get up the guts to talk to him after a few drinks. BC other wise I would have chickened out and not say nothing. It took me years to get to this point, this wasn't the first time I've seen this man at this family event. So I pulled him over to the side at a family Thanksgiving dinner we have yearly.

And tell him I know I could possibly be his daughter and I wanted to know if he really could be my father and what he thought about it all and I wanted the truth about all of it BC I've been lied to about it for years and it been kept a secret forever, and about why their was no DNA done when I was a child. And that I want one(my mother never offered to help me do this or anything and kept it from me for as long as she could BC she never planned on ever telling me)

But before I could get anything out of my mouth to him, that I wanted to do a DNA and we can keep it between just us BC he has two kids and a wife of like 20 years I believe. But the talk didn't go as I planned it to, so I was very disappointed and just sad and felt so unwanted and angry as hell. So that's pretty much when I started to plan how I'm going to get him to give me a DNA test and try to get him to be honest and admit that I could be his and that we could get the test done even if i have to pay for it myself.

I just wanted the whole truth about him and my mom and why I didn't seem to matter to no one. And to tell him how his selfish shit of his and hers has hurt me a lot. BC of this serect they have kept. This secret that the whole family has kept for over 20 years now. So his family he went on and made wouldn't be hurt by this by me, And how I found out from my cousins,I didn't ever have no one explain any thing to me. I just finally realized it one day and wanted to know. My mother couldn't even do me right and tell me much less get a DNA done so I didn't have to do this by myself and learn the hard truth as adult.

Sooooo.....

He told me that it was during his drug using days and he couldn't remember and didn't know and just kept saying a bunch of useless shit that didn't matter, he didn't say nothing I wanted to hear and all in the same sentence of denial and his lying about how he don't remember nothing he goes to say that I do favor his family a lot or he knows where I get my looks from, something saying I look like them. And then walked away. I was so mad I couldn't stand it.

So another year has passed by and I've not thought about it much at all. Until I'm on fb and one of my old friends from school is friends with (sperm donor#2) oldest daughter, she was born a year after me. Her mom and mine was pregnant almost at the same time. I was born 7 or 8 months before her I believe. 1992 and she was born in 1993, and this friend of mine is her best friend. I've known her sense middle school. So I talk to our friend and I tell her everything about how I could be her bff sister. And she tells me I should tell BC she would want to know about this. So I let her talk into it really and then last night I added use to our own private group so on fb msg. And I tell her. By saying your dad could also be mine and I could be your sister.

Well didn't go like me and my friend planned it went pretty horribly really. Like she got so angry and cussed me out, called me a lier made me feel bad that I told my friend first before her. BC it's supposely family business whatever the hell that means. And that she didn't know how to feel or what not, you know normal feelings for this type of shit I guess. Anger, but was just very damn angry. Like super angry. If I said it to her face she might of hit me. And I told her not long after she had her new baby. So her emotions are going crazy right now and she's a daddys girl so yeah.

So my mom use to sleep with her dad. (sperm donor #2) every Wed and my dad (sperm donor #1) on weekends is what my mom has told me. So I have looked up when she got pregnant with me time after time, I have did this for years like the answer will just show up one day for sum reason. And also have compared his other kids with myself for ever before I got the guts to say something to anyone witch I said it to him first. I told the serect that's been kept forever, and I feel like no one understands at all. I'm so alone in this.