Missing my Hubby

I’ve debated posting about this just because I feel like a wussy. My husband and I have been married 4 years and this week (3 days ago) he left on a backpacking trip with my stepdad and nephew and some other people. It’s the first time we’ve been apart for even a night since we got married. I can’t talk to him because he’s in a back country area. I had a really hard night the first night and have slept like crap every night. He’ll be back in about 3 days but it is KILLING ME.

I was raised by a mom who was divorced and man did she drill it into all of our heads that we don’t NEED anyone. I have always been a really independent person, when I first moved out of my parents house I was by myself and didn’t care. I’ve always enjoyed my space and no relationship lasted longer than a month or two because the guys got on my nerves and I honestly felt like if a guy couldn’t prove that being with him was better than being single I wasn’t interested. Then I met my husband and the guy knocked me clean off my feet. He wasn’t threatened by my independent I don’t need a guy attitude. He’s always just let me do me and is ready to help if I ever want him to. He is the only person other than myself that I felt I could truly depend on and for real let my guard down with. He knows me better than any other person on the planet, including my mom (she doesn’t get me like she thinks she does).

It’s just hard to fall asleep without him cuddling me and grabbing my boob. Lol plus he left me the SWEETEST love note under my pillow. I just didn’t realize what a huge part of my everyday life he has become! There’s so much of our routine that I haven’t given much thought to until he wasn’t there to do it. He’s always just taking care of so much and he’s like my favorite person to hang out with and talk to. We don’t have any kids and we live in a small town so there’s not a ton to do. I have plans with friends but it seems no matter what I do I miss that man so freaking much.

Anyway I just didn’t have anyone to talk to about this. My family is just cold to feelings like this and would just make fun of me. Part of me feels like I’m being a huge baby missing him this much (I’m not crying anymore just missing him like crazy), but another part of me is loving that I have my person in this life worth missing this much.