Eating disorder


So I have been struggling with an eating disorder for the past two years. It started when I joined the dance program at the college that I was attending. I felt the pressure to be thin as a ballerina and I was already what people considered the perfect ballerina body not including my height. I was tiny at 5 feet tall and was born early so I was naturally petite. I danced all day and would go the whole day without eating until dinner. I would drink a bottle of soda to give my body some sugar and to silence my growling stomach. At the end of the day I would have no energy. I refused to admit that I had a problem. People would make comments such as “you are so skinny!” “You need to eat more!” I was proud of my skinny body, the way my ribs would show. When I was engaged to be married, I wore my little sister’s pants for the engagement photos. (She’s 12) For the past several months, I have been married. I’ve gained weight and I hate myself. My husband plays with my stomach almost everyday and it hurts me so much. My family is pleased that I look “a lot healthier” but I feel so fat. I’m not eating dinner tonight. I feel like I’m on the verge of slipping back to the worst point of my eating disorder. Any thoughts on what I should do?