Hi everyone.. This message is going to be quiet a long message (so I do apologize upfront)

- please.... NO RUDE COMMENTS (it's no need) rather just scroll away instead of posting something nasty / hurtful.

I come tonight asking for some help / advice on this one please. 😔

My boyfriend and I have been together for 9yrs. Long story short, his mother has never liked me (only pretends / 2face I say) now we don't get along really well as she wanted someone else for her son. In actual fact, no one in his family likes me and always has something nasty to say. She even mentioned when we were engaged that if he ever had to marry me, she would write him off! Now that hurt me deeply thinking are we ever going to be happy and have a life together 😔

She even pulled me outside the one time to speak to me and told me that it's best I leave and will have to see what happens 😕

When I told my boyfriend what she said, she completely denied everything making me look like a liar and that made me mad! 😡

😲 Now that's when I called if off and came back home. I didn't do it to make her feel stronger or bigger! I didn't even break if off like for real as I did speak to my fiance at that time what I'm going to do.. I did however leave my ring but told my fiance that I'm not breaking if off as I really do love him with all my heart and want a future with him. That he must just wait and see what his mom does when I leave! (it hurt us both deeply) but we both came to an understanding that we are still together! When I left, the first week she was so happy, full of smiles and carried on speaking bad about me and making sure there were ladies to take him out for a eat / drink.. but he decided to stay longer as he had family things to do which I understood (helping his brother as he battles with seizures) he never went out with the Ladies (I know as we spoke everyday all day over the phone) I then came home and after a few days we could finally speak without her around / knowing we are speaking! This was about 4yrs ago. We could not anymore after 6months and he finally told her that he had enough of her interfering in our relationship!

My boyfriend is now overseas working and he really loves his job where his at now. I am so happy for him ☺ his been away now for 1yr and 3 months and I tell you it's breaking me apart! 😢 I feel so lost and not being with him breaks my heart so deeply! He really cannot wait for me to come over as he says he misses me and so on.

His really a great and an amazing guy! His done so much for me and wants me to be happy.

The thing is, his had so much stress on him lately with work and all that he mentioned to me tonight over a video call that, I'm keeping him on a line! 🤔 Now I'm really confused about what he said.. He had went out with people from work and I didn't want to make things worse as it was late for him and I was really just not in the mood to fight! As I look forward to seeing his face in a video call every night.

Again, long story short.. I studied to work overseas and I'm just waiting for my last papers for me to finally get the rest of the stuff done to go over to my boyfriend.

Now the thing is, I'm waiting and I was told my papers will be done by Friday / Monday and then I must go this Sunday up to his mom, stay 4 / 5 days with her while I do my visa and so on... Honestly, I don't want to stay with her that long (although she's fetching me and taking me around to do the things I need to do) I don't have any other transport to be able to go up, do my things, come back home, wait 4 / 5 days, fetch my visa and so on then fly Sunday next week.. It's too expensive and no1 wants to take me / help me.. Now I gotta sit with his mom for so long 🙄🙈😭

I'm heartbroken 💔 I'm so lost and so confused! I'm leaving my family behind and my baby girl 😺 🐾 (cat) when I'm not around, she looks for me and cries. She literally follows me everywhere i go.

My question :

How do I ever accept his mom?

How do I know my boyfriend is not seeing other women? Or feels different (I'm confused not even knowing what I say or feel anymore) I'm asking because why did he mention I'm holding him on a line?? 👀 🤔 Something does not sound right about that!

He forever thinks I wanna fight and never really hears what's on my heart 💔 I still say, his mother changed him and is still putting shit in his head that she's blinding him.

He sends her money every month - for food or whatever. Why must he do that!? We need to save money for our future! I will most definitely stop that once I'm by him and talk to him and tell him how I feel face to face!

It was so bad the one time that I snapped so badly and told him straight, it's me or your mom! He said family comes first (his mother is putting shit into his head and wants him for herself / someone she likes)

He said I won't ever lose him and that he loves me very much and wants to marry me and so on.. But why is this all happening??? Why... What can this be... I'm really confused now!

** I'll be speaking to him again tomorrow - hopefully things will be better... And can finally find out in what's happening with papers and so on.

I so badly wish I could do it online (visa) but I need to sign and so on 😐 which means I have to stay by her 4 / 6 days until I fly!

** Am I horrible? Am I the wrong one?

😲😭💔😑