***UPDATE(09/03/19)***

As of right now, baby’s first appointment is Friday, September 6th. I won’t get to surprise my SO as the doctor called me back the same day I made the appointment, but she called me back on SOs phone while I was working. He picked me up from work because my OB wants me on bedrest until at least 20wks or until further notice. My bosses are working with my family on finalizing the arrangements for my end of income and I’ll be filling out FMLA? paperwork I believe? The following Monday after the appointment. Not sure if that’s what it was really called or not. My morning sickness has only progressed and gotten worse, but my OB has been contacted and she’s possibly getting us into an appointment tomorrow or Thursday. Once I get a full update after appointment, I’ll make a separate post with my updates. Thank you all so so much for the positive vibes, prayers, and touches of love you’ve given us. We all truly appreciate it. I’m sorry I didn’t respond to everyone. There’s just so many! Thank you all so much. Truly.

5 years ago November 14, 2014, I was in a car accident that killed both my parents and my daughters father on impact. I was the only survivor. At the time of the accident, I was 9wks pregnant with my daughter. We just celebrated her birthday August 3rd 🥰 She turned 4. Most recent picture of this beauty 😍

Since that time, I was in a relationship with someone for almost 2 1/2years. I was engaged to him the last half of those years, but ended it after my second miscarriage. The first miscarriage was hard for the both of us but we both talked about it, seen my OB and got the go ahead to try again. So we did. I made it 7wks 2days before we found out. ❤️ Baby was doing sooo good.

When I was 12wks though, we had gone in for an ultrasound and baby had no heartbeat. 😔 That night, while my daughter and I were sitting on the bed, he attempt suicide right in front of us. A lot of that night is a blur. 911 was contacted and he actually pulled through. Thank goodness. When I got to the hospital, he was bitter. Made me feel as if it was my fault and I had done it to him a second time, purposely. 2 more weeks had gone by and I ended things. His family still keeps me updated on the progress he’s made and continues to make. As much as I loved this man, my emotional well being was not in a good place after these events had taken place, especially in front of my daughter.

I met someone else shortly after and had started our talking phase. Eventually we make our thing official. About 8months in, I missed my period. Didn’t think anything of it, because we used a condom each time and I had the arm implant, it was removed the day I found out. So, honestly, I didn’t believe it when the doctor told me I was pregnant. About a week after we found out, I was in another car accident. 😩 Our baby fought and they fought hard. Around 11wks, I woke up to blood everywhere. It was happening again and I couldn’t think straight. I couldn’t believe that I was going through this AGAIN. I sat in the shower floor for maybe an hour balling my eyes out before my SO got home and came to the bathroom to check on me and see what was happening. He works nights so he had literally just gotten home. He took me out of the shower and to the hospital immediately. They confirmed yet another miscarriage. Ive been so heartbroken. I’ve been jealous. But I’ve always remained happy and welcoming to others when it comes down to the pregnancy realm.

Picture of my dude who comforted me during the aftermath. Who spoke openly and honestly about how he felt as well. Who didn’t once have anger towards me because of this situation, but who also cared/cares for my daughter when I’m sick, at work, or in another area away from her. ANYWHO, I’m totally off topic now. But. On August 20th, my best friend calls me on the phone, tells me she’s pregnant. I’m excited because this brat lives with me and I knew I’d get to help spoil that baby. August 22nd rolls around, her and I are in my room discussing how they did my daughter first appointment when I found out I was pregnant with her. Her old man is my old mans best friend. So like we’re all super close. My old man KNOWS she’s pregnant. So, when he walked in, I didn’t chime down our conversation. I continued with her and went about my merry little way. On August 23rd, my coworkers mom comes in, tells me her daughters pregnant and she wanted to know if I could help with her baby shower when the time came around. Y’all. Im jealous and hurt but I’m overjoyed because I love kids in general. I love helping anybody out with kiddos. So, I agree. We started talking about themes and getting ideas. I haven’t been to work in nearly 2 months so I’ve missed a lot. Went traveling to explore new places. Find my inner me kind of deal. Monday, August 26th. I was complaining to my SO about my boobs hurting. Which is completely normal with my period. But he’s in this joking manner saying “It’s all that milk filling up.” 😂 I straight up looked at him, dead ass. “Im not pregnant. Don’t even mention it again.” I was rude as fuck. So he looks at me, sticks his tongue out and looks just like Adam Sandler here. 😂

We dropped the topic the rest of the night. 2am rolls around, I’m in the bathroom puking my guts out, but I had just went to my aunts and baby sat her kiddos who all have the flu. 😔 Poor babies were miserable. They are doing MUCH better now though. So yay! ☺️ My SO comes in the bathroom, grabs me from behind and just held me while I lay my face on a nasty ass toilet. He mentions again. “You wouldn’t be throwing up like that if there wasn’t a mini me in that life developer.” So I roll my eyes and look over to my shelves where there’s a non-expired pregnancy test available to me. I didnt take it. I overthought about my previous and didn’t want to get my feels up. So I left it alone. Next day comes around, it’s 12:30 in the afternoon and he starts texting my phone with “I got the takis, eggs, and soy sauce that my little gremlin so badly desires from it’s momma.” 😂 Y’all. I’m dead af. I was dying of laughter. He really had his mind set that I was pregnant. We talked about it for nearly another hour and ended the convo with I’m not pregnant and I’ll prove it. I went to the bathroom and took that test. I didn’t even look at it or let it complete before I text him it was negative. He went to pick up my daughter from daycare. So I leave the bathroom, go to my room, start getting ready for work and when I go back to do my hair... I see this!!

SUPER SUPER faint and I had the light off. 😏🤦🏼‍♀️I’m over here thinking I got line eyes and call him. He was like “I told you.” I was in denial. I was like no. It says not to read the result after 10mins as it may result as invalid. And it had been an hour before I really checked it. He’s like “Whatever, you’re pregnant.” I mocked him. Period was meant to come today, so I realllllly didn’t believe it. I felt like I had my period coming. The last few days, I’ve slowly stopped experiencing period symptoms and my puking has just escalated to the point my bosses sent me home from work. Last night was so bad, I actually passed out in my kitchen while talking with my SO. He said I was standing at one point talking to him about some vitamins my daughter had asked about. I went super quiet, grabbed ahold on him and my head and dropped. (THIS HAS HAPPENED BEFORE within the last 3 weeks as well as a month and a half ago, which is why we chose no ER). He tells me he’s worried that I’m actually pregnant and that’s why it’s been happening so often. We follow up with the care instructions as I’m supposed to have done previously. Get up this morning and come in to work to just feel uneasy and TIRED today. And thursdays are my longest days at work (6:30am-11:00pm). They’re so boring because all I do is sit at a desk at a hotel, which isn’t busy but busy enough. My boss comes down to tell me it’s random pee test day. 😏 So I go in, take my drug test, and they come out telling me congrats I passed. A couple hours go by and my bosses come up to ask me if I wanted to leave for lunch. I agree, they took me to a BBQ place, and I couldn’t even stand the smell before I was puking again. 😩😩 So I asked them to stop by Walmart for just a brief second. I go in, buy another test because my period didn’t come at all. And BAM.

Lil mommas working with this 😭😱❤️ Y’all. I’m nervous asf. I’m scared. But I’m really not trying to stress myself out. I called an made an appointment with my OB, who is also my daughters pediatrician. I’ve had the same OB for 5yrs now. Never seen anybody new. She explains to me that with my previous pregnancies, she was placing me in the high risk department. Which just means that I’d be going in more often and I’d be seeing her and a specialist that helped deliver my daughter. Im blessed y’all. Significant other, knows. 🙄 Clearly. Lol. But he doesn’t know I took this test or made an appointment. I did it on his day off so that I could tell him to go on an adventure with me.

To anybody who makes it through this EXTREMELY long post. Thank you so much for you time and allowing me to vent/spoil some news. Fingers crossed we make it through this pregnancy as healthy as we can be. ❣️❣️