11 dpo and a bfn

BabyCC • Off the pill for more than 2 ears but TTC properly for about 6 month. This journey has been more difficult than expected
Today I am 11 dpo and couldn't help myself and I tested!! Unfortunately I got a BFN and that devastated me again. I think I will pee my pants if I ever get BFP why is it this hard to make a baby?? Was really hoping it will happen this month as I will be 32 in a week!!! 😔😔